Thanksgiving journey day 3

Need I say more? Their eyes, their smiles, their hearts, their love, their antics, their optimism, their dependence, their sincerity, their passion, their abandon, their spirit, their imagination, their character, their kisses, their cuddles, their highs, their lows, their whispers, their yelps, their songs, their devotion, their fascinations, their dirty hands, their bare feet, their curiosity, they are what I give thanks for today and every day-- my precious, precocious, pretty, predictable, pretenders.

My oldest, my brilliant star, my little lady, my baby who loves with every inch of her heart is about to turn 5 in 10 days—my elegant, fruitful, blushing beauty as her name means. Her name fits her personality as if God named her. She has an eye for detail, a heart for organization, acts like a lady (most of the time), is diligent, passionate and loves Jesus with all her heart. She is my sweet “baby girl”, my sunshine on a rainy day.

My youngest, my sweet little loveable baby, my tiny girl full of love and life bigger than herself, is going to turn 3 next month. My Christmas princess as her name means was my gift at Christmas in 2004. She is a princess at the same time she is a puddle jumper, a misfit, a frolic… she would love to put on a pretty dress and then go sit in the nearest mud puddle. She has been known (like every Sunday morning) to find an earthworm (or any bug she might come across) and want to take it to church. That’s my “Turkey”, my ham, my gem.

My quiver is full. My children are my blessing from God. I am so thankful for my angels.

  

Second post for today.

This is something profound to me. The thought actually gives me chills and makes me fell ill. Read this scripture...


Matthew 5:23-25 (New International Version)
23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. 25"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.



At first glance, I said, "duh, we are supposed to forgive." Take a moment to think about what it says. We cannot offer God a Holy gift if our hearts are not holy. If we hold something against our brother or even if he holds something against us we are not to offer our gift to the Lord unless we stop and go fix the problem. We can't tell God how much we love Him, need Him, adore Him, want Him, believe in Him, trust Him, LOVE HIM unless we are first reconciled with our brother-- I'll go so far as to say He is not talking about just our blood brother here. He is also talking about our enemy ("adversary"). It doesn't matter how horrible someone has been to us, we cannot approach God at the altar of prayer unless we resolve the situation-- forgive and or apologize and ask for forgiveness. Stop and think about this, really absorb it. We cannot praise God, pray to God, worship God, say His name if our hearts are not holy. In the Old Testament there were rituals and sacrifices in order to make one’s heart holy-- and only the priest at that-- before God's people could approach Him. If they were not holy they were struck DEAD! Now, He still requires a holy heart for us to approach Him in His supreme Holiness. We are to lay down our gifts and go clean our hearts before we give Him our gift. Maybe our gift is a song in church, maybe it is an act of kindness in His name, maybe it is a tithe or offering, maybe it is loaning someone or giving someone something dear to you, maybe it is praying for someone or yourself, maybe it is... any act of worship, love... He will not accept it if it is not holy. He can't. He will not be tainted by dirty gifts. He gives us an easy way to prepare our hearts. All we have to do is forgive. It doesn't hurt! It requires no blood or gore. It does not cost a penny. It hurts no one or nothing! Think about it. Have you recently prayed (the Bible says to pray without ceasing) in Jesus name with an un-holy heart? I am thinking about it and like I said, the thought of this makes me really feel sick. I offer God worship all the time; I do pray without ceasing; I sing with joy in my heart... My heart-- is it holy?

Thanksgiving journey day 2

Hubby falls right behind God's grace. His grace is sufficient, but He also gives us more than we need. He gave me my husband. I have blogged about us in the past, but I think I will retell our story. It is a really cool one, I think.




When I was 16, I applied for my first job at a place called The Crosseyed Cricket. My mom let me apply against her better judgment because she didn't think I would get the job. A few days after I applied, I got a call for an interview. I went in and this really nice lady (Susan) came in and told me that the man interviewing me would be in soon, and if I had any questions or needed any advice she was the person to ask, but that he was a nice guy and I would do fine. I sat there a while and then he came in. I remember everything about that interview, down to my reflection in the mirror. He sat across from me at a small table for 2 and started talking to me. I remember his eyes. They were the bluest eyes I had ever seen and the kindest. He just went down a list of questions and handed me a bag of money to count and math test.



Apparently, I passed inspection and was hired. I loved working here and after about a year I had gotten to know those sweet eyes. Not only did this man have sweet eyes, but a sweet heart too. He was one of those men who could fix anything; He worked so hard at everything he did. He was genuinely a nice guy. He was honest and respectable, a man of sincere integrity. When I was 17, I realized which ever woman he married he would take such great care of and would be the luckiest woman in the world. I asked him to marry me. Uh, as you can imagine that was a little weird for him. I was 17 and he was going on 30. I was just a kid to him so he brushed me off.



In all naivety, I started pursuing him-- yeah stalking is more like it. I came to work every week with a different dessert for him. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach", right? I made cheesecakes (never as good as his mom's-- she makes the best), pound cakes, cookies... This is how I learned to bake, but I never snagged the man. I left for college and well, did college stuff. After some serious fails and lessons learned, I went back to the Cricket and he still worked there. Now I was 21-- legal. This time, my pursuit was noticed (I actually even made him another cake (sour cream pound cake that stuck so badly in the pan.) The day I made this, his ex-girlfriend came by for a visit and I had to leave and go to work. Imagine my gut wrenching feeling that she was going to share that cake with him and his co-workers. Anyhow, we started spending more time with each other (I would hang around and help him at work-- no one argued because I was working for free.) I got to know him even better. All the things I mentioned before became first impressions (pretty accurate, but only superficial). He was so much more than what I thought. He was wonderful, is wonderful. He wanted the same thing I did and still does. We dated for nearly 2 years and I finally realized that he was never going to marry me. I decided I'd just live forever as his girlfriend-- which was better than nothing. Then on Valentine’s Day, we went out and took a walk down the river in Knoxville, and he proposed. I was stunned to silence and at the same time on top of the world. We called his mom, and went to my mom's to share our new with them. It was such a great day. Since then I have gotten to know him even more-- every day I still learn more. I love him more with everyday too. He fulfills all of those childhood imaginations I had at 17. I am the luckiest woman in the world to have him. He suits me just perfectly. I know there are other women out there who have "the perfect husband" too and this may be so. I have the man God wanted me to be with. The man perfectly suited for me. A man who doesn't fuss at me, try to control me, never speaks ugly to me, treats me like a treasure, adores me no matter how much I age, loves me no matter that my hair is falling out, wants to do what I want to do instead of running off with the guys, lets me choose the movies, puts his wants aside for mine, eats my experiments with a smile and a grateful spirit, is my biggest fan in everything I do... He loves me. He cherishes me. He is the perfect example of what Christ is to his bride! I am so thankful for him.

Oh yeah, when we got married and I cleaned out his trailer, I found a birthday card (he is a pack rat and saves everything) from his 30th birthday. In it I had asked him to "start subtracting years so that we can meet in the middle and then get married." I so wish I had not thrown this away. It would mean the world to me today.

Thanksgiving journey

One of my FB friends issued a challenge to all of her friends... to post/status update something you are thankful for everyday until Thanksgiving. I accepted this challenge and am going to use it in my blog. I am going to use my next 18 blogs to talk about what and why I am Thankful for specific things. I can't wait to come back to these on a future date where I need a reminder of all God has done for me.


Tonight, I posted on FB about The Turkey falling and hitting her teeth on the floor in her Sunday school room. Her teeth are loose and her gums bruised and bloody, but I am grateful that they did not fall out or chip to the nerve. (This feels a little like the "glad game"-- Haley Mills fans will get it.)

However, I am sure I can do better than that for this posting. I guess I will start at the top of my list and as the days progress, I will work my way down. (I would do a Letterman style top 10 [18] style, but I would have to sit and actually make the whole list tonight to go backwards from 18-1. No time for that.) So here goes...

I am most thankful for God's grace-- gift of His son Jesus. This is undoubtedly the most important part of my life. That was an easy answer for what... now for the why.

Well, if you have read my blog posts in the past you will know why. I'll put it in a nut shell for those who have not: I was lost, sinking into a pit of sin, wallowing in depression, abusing my body--God's sanctuary, worried only about myself, putting false god's at the top of my priorities, heading to hell... all this and I was raised in the church. I knew who God was. I knew all about Jesus. BUT it wasn't until Jesus lifted me out of all of this and told me how much He loved me. He showed me how to love Him. He introduced me to His Father, my Father. He never shamed me for my lifestyle; instead He showed me a better way. He never reminds me of my past wrongs, no Satan does that. He has promised to remember my sins no more. He took me in His arms and rejoiced for I was home again. He threw a party for me and is singing over me. He rebukes those who rebuke me. He is my intercessor-- talking to God about me by name. He knows the plans He has for me-- for me to prosper. He disciplines me in love when I am heading down the wrong path-- a path to destruction. His discipline assures me of my heritage; I am His child. He has filled me with Himself so that I may have direct contact to The One True God. He is a friend who picks me up when I fall or am about to fall. He is always with me. He is coming back to get me, riding on a cloud. He commands me not to fear. He promises to keep His covenant even when I mess up my end. He drank the cup that should have been mine, He didn't want to, but He did it in obedience and in love. He is what I want to be-- Life to a dying world. I want my life to be so full of His radiance that everyone will see Jesus and not me. This is what I am most thankful for and why.

I challenge everyone to respond to this post what you are most thankful for. I'd love to share this journey with all of you. I can't wait to have my list to look back on.

Why do they believe?

Ollie is watching an OLD copy (I think it may have been my cousin's when she was little and now she is a sophomore in college) of Rudolf the red nosed reindeer on VHS. This made me think about a question she asked me the other day and I thought it was blog worthy. She asked me why some people believe Santa is real. I told her that some people think it is fun to pretend and that when they get older they will know he is just a character. I also made sure she knew it was OK for them to pretend this and that she should never tell them he isn't real. Of course this is a long story if I go into our whole conversation, but she got the point.


“Why on earth would I have told her Santa wasn't real?” you may ask. Some may relate and not wonder, but for those questioning me, I'll explain.

First off, I grew up not believing in Santa, and never once did it make my Christmases any less exciting. I also never told anyone what I knew because I understood the whole thing. I just pretended right alongside them watching them get excited. I always planned on telling my children about him and letting them believe-- I saw how fun it was to pretend with my cousin and watch her believe. It was fun from the point of view that I knew he wasn't real but they really believed. I thought as a parent it would be fun to experience this with my children. When she was 2, I began telling Ollie about Santa. As soon as the story left my mouth, I got this horrible feeling that I had lied to my child. I was convicted right then. I started thinking about the lessons we had had on Jesus and really felt strongly that if I told her "lies" about Santa and Truths about Jesus (both requiring faith to believe) then at some point I was going to have to deal with the doubt it could cause (no matter the depth of the doubt) about whether or not Jesus was just pretend too. So, I told Ollie that it was just a story and Santa was a character like Winnie the Pooh or Cinderella (a man in a costume). It is fun for us to meet him and pretend just like the princesses and Mickey Mouse at Disney. She understood.

So, at our house we celebrate Jesus' birthday party at Christmas and Santa is just a fun story and character just like frosty. Santa is likened to a piñata, pin the tail on the donkey or balloons at a birthday party, not really an integral part of the purpose-- to celebrate one more year of that person’s life-- but a fun, festive part that gets your celebrating pants on.

Please do not take this as an assault on your practices at your house. Just because I believe this for my children and family in no way means I think someone is wrong for telling their kids about Santa. If it was wrong, God would tell you, not me. He told me, so it is wrong for me. (Just like I choose to stay at home and home school my children because I feel this is God's plan for me, and it may not be His plan for everyone. I will never tell someone they are wrong for not doing what I do. Who am I?) We still have fun having our picture made with Santa, and meeting him (he always has suckers).

 

Holidays

November is here and with it comes the thrill of the Holiday Season. At least for me it does. I so love it! I decorated our house on the 1st (at least this year I waited till November--last year it was before Halloween). I have the pleasure of hearing the girls ooh and ahh over the tree for 2 months! I can't wait till the presents get put underneath to hear what they say. I am already planning my Thanksgiving menu. I am going to miss our trek to Huntsville to visit Hubby's dad's family, but the trip is just entirely too far for a one day venture. This year, I am going to have 6 people besides us here for Turkey Day dinner. My friend and her family are coming. I am so blessed to have such good friends as well as a wonderful family (from both sides).


I am sitting here by the light of my Christmas tree, lonely because Hubby is working 3rd shift-- I can't sleep alone anymore. I love how my Christmas tree makes me feel all cozy and warm inside. I'll share mine with you; undoubtedly, I am the first person in the US to put the tree up! The mall is decorating tonight.

My poor Ollie has the flu. She had to rest after each ornament she put on the tree.

Funny answers

Today the girls and I were playing a Bible trivia type game that they got as a trick or treat surprise from our neighbor. We came to a question that was for the Turkey. It read, "Who built the ark?" Her responses were funny. The first answer she gave was God. Then I asked her who God told to build the ark. She answered, "Noseseph." How is that for covering all bases? If it isn't Noah, Moses or Joseph then I just don't know who did it?
There was another question which Ollie had to answer and it was about Peter walking on the water. She had never heard the story so I told her about it. She said it was like Peter was "bapitized" (bap- i- tized) because he went under water and Jesus pulled him up.

I guess she is kind of right, when we are baptized we go under the water symbolizing our death to ourselves and Jesus pulls us up to Himself. Peter was heading toward Christ, but his own fears and worries got in the way. As he went under the water he cried out for Jesus to save him. And Jesus pulled him out of the water and saved him. Isn't she right then? Isn't that what we are doing in essence when we are baptized (or should I say bapitized)? We are calling out for Jesus to save us? As we emerge from the water we are a new creation, clothed with Christ and dead to ourselves. Just a word from my wise 5 year old.

The flu hits our home

Tuesday night Ollie started complaining at about 10:30 of a stomach ache. I racked my brain to try to think of where she could have consumed dairy (she is allergic and it was very reminiscent of her allergy although she said it hurt differently). Anyhow, by midnight she had vomited, had a fever of 102.1, arms and legs were hurting, a pretty bad cough, and she was so dizzy (wobbly as she put it) that I had to hold her steady. Since then she has developed stopped up and painful ear aches, headaches, and she says, "I just feel awful inside". I called the Dr. and she said it sounded like the flu. She is at the moment on a makeshift bed on the couch and is watching Bambi between moans-- it is quite pitiful.


Lord, put Your angels of protection around all those we have been in contact with prior to her developing symptoms and our family. Give her the strength to withstand this nasty virus if it is not in Your will to destroy it. I know it is in Your power to do so. Bless our home.

Foot sucking and an advocate

Sometimes things don't come out as we anticipate them. This goes for my children as well as for me. I am known for keeping a foot placed securely in my mouth, and on the off chance it is not there, it is well on its way to realizing it is out of place and of course hurries home. Anyhow, my Ollie has lately had some of the same issues. The only thing is that her "oopses" happen to sound really disrespectful. I am torn on whether or not she realizes this, but treat it usually as if she does (I reckon she's got to learn somehow that these are inappropriate things to say). For example, this morning I caught her playing in the muddy garden in her brand new black velvet jeans. I drew this to her attention and told her that it did not make me happy. At this point she looked me squarely in the eye and said, "Well mama, it’s better than not having a house." OK, I am not sure how utter fury and hilarity coexist so peacefully. I wanted to scream and at the same time was fighting a grin. I did neither. All I could think was to ask her if she would like to have no clothing and go naked all winter. She said no and started crying and apologizing. I think I scared her (just the thought of those two opposing emotions battling out for which is going to win is sort of scary).


I realize that the way she responds to me is a learning process. She often responds in ways that I respond to her. Phrases like: “It’s not the end of the world” and “it’s not a big deal”, are words I use to get her to calm down when something minor has totally rocked her world. I usually explain why it is not a big deal (thus the comparison of her dirty pants to having no house), but I really must take time to not use these phrases and treat her “big deals” with more tender care. I guess when she responds to me like this; it is a lesson for me as much as it is for her. If it is disrespectful for her to talk to me like that, then I wonder if it is for me to talk to her like that too. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to place her in an equal role with me, but I do suppose that at 5 things that seem to be no big deal to me really could be a big deal to her.

This makes me think about my “big deals” and how I go off the handle in front of God. Things that seem to be such a huge ordeal to me must seem so small to Him. I know they are even in comparison to others whose problems are much worse than mine. In my immaturity, I get all flustered and bogged down with my own problems to where I must look like a squalling 5 year old over a dropped cheerio that the dog stole. Even in my distress over a miniscule “problem” God hears me. He hears me because I have a Savior who is telling Him what it is like. Jesus knows about having problems—big ones and small ones. He knows what it is like to be 5 and have your world fall apart because mom didn’t listen or understand, or because of a broken toy. He knows what it is like to be tempted with worry, fear, jealousy, lust… ALL of our temptations and “problems” He experienced and did so with no falter—NO SIN! Now, He is sitting beside God telling Him about how hard it is for us. He knows! Jesus knows. He knows me and my problems. He is passing them on to God for me as we speak. As we fall apart in a tizzy in front of God, Jesus is there on our behalf. He is our advocate. He is saying that He knows what it is like and God listens to Him!

So as a mom of young children who are inevitably going to have problems, I need to remember the tender care we have of Jesus and pass this on to them. Take tender care to remember what it is like to be there.

Two kinds of Wisdom

James 3:13-18 13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

Wow, what a thought provoking scripture. This was the basis for this morning's sermon. It is really one to make me look inward and take inventory of my own life's conversation (according to David this word was used in the Greek to mean one's coming and going). I often find myself really coveting Godly wisdom. You know, you hear a great teacher and want to know what they know, understand what they understand, have the witness that they have, the faith they have... I remember as a little girl the first time I heard the story about Solomon. I was watching the TV. show The Bible Book or maybe The Flying House. These were regular television cartoons where the children in the show would travel back to Bible times and live the story. Anyway, I remember watching the one where Solomon is able to ask for anything he wanted and he asked for wisdom. It is such a profound memory I have because I went to my room and prayed for wisdom. I couldn't have been over 9 or so, but I asked and I truly believed He would give me the Wisdom of Solomon. I still pray for that wisdom-- Godly wisdom.


I really desire to have this Spiritual Gift. I do not see myself as having it yet. I do believe that because God has given me the desire, He will one day give me the gift. I pray that one day, I can be a wise old woman whose grand children and great grand children come to for advice and actually find it useful and meaningful. Oh, I so want to be that sweet, wise old granny one day.

Last Sunday, a lady from church asked me where I got all of my wisdom. Shocked, I just told her that I was not wise. What can I say? I am not wise. I asked her what would make her ask that and she said it was from the comments I make on Wed. nights. OK, I am not making wise comments; I just really want to learn. I ask the questions that pop in my head. I say things that pop in my head (maybe someone should shut me up). Though, I do so love to chatter. I have been accused of this all my life. When it comes to something I am passionate about, it only makes matters (or should I say chatters) worse.

Anyway, I long for wisdom from God. I really seek it with my whole heart. I forsake the wisdom of the world (thus why I am not trying to advance myself by the world's standards). I am a fairly intelligent woman (or used to be before kids), but this is not the intelligence I desire. I don't want book smarts, I don't desire common sense (a good thing, I've never had that!) What I desire is a life that screams, "I love Jesus"; "I belong to Jesus!"

Lord Jesus, sitting at the right hand of God Almighty, intercede for me and tell Dad that I really need some wisdom-- His Wisdom.

Dressing up is fun to do.

Last night was birthday party and tonight was trunk or treat at BCCC. Ollie was a clown both nights and Turkey was a bunny and a clown consecutivly.

Without words

I think that on a day as glorious as today, in every way conceivable, all the words in the world would be swallowed up with God's glory.

Starting the day off right

This morning Hubby was home for a little while because he had a later shift at work. The Turkey brought in the Bible and asked him to read to us. She would randomly choose a page and he would read. It is amazing what she chose and how God used her to speak to us this morning. Some of the passages included a Proverb about helping or keeping a promise to your neighbor even if it hurts and you will not be destroyed, the story about Paul's shipwreck, honoring and respecting the government who has been given the power to rule us by God Himself and how if God is for us who can be against us. He also read in Romans about accepting people into your group whose faith is weak. Anyhow, God spoke to me and my Hubby as he read what Turkey pointed out.


After last night’s post, I have experienced at least three things from God. We received a gift of money, a reminder that our problems are not more than we can handle and were shown to have concern for others in their problems as opposed to our own (a dear friend told me last night they are about to be without a job and no prospects as of yet), and this morning the Word of God brought to us by my Turkey's insistence. How awesome is God when you ask and expect to really hear from Him! I believe this is only the beginning of how He is going to provide.

So in a few words, we started the day off right. I think that-- no, I know that we should start the day off like this more often (like, everyday). It would be such a great thing to become a habit. After breakfast, we should just read the Word of God together as a family (at least the part of the family that is at breakfast). Lord, help me make this a priority. My priorities get all jumbled when I look at the house and my calendar and my to-do list. Once again give me Your eyes to see Your priorities and not my own.

My offer of incense

I am really fighting back the tears today... tonight. I have been dealing with the insurance company-- actually the company who investigates accidents and whether or not the insurance company should pay or not in regards to The Turkey's run in with the dog/chair/whatever it actually was. They are really wanting us to file it under my uncle's insurance which I refuse to do. It is a matter of them not wanting to pay and wanting to bring lawsuit against my uncle's insurance. OK, so this will happen over my dead body, loss of house... I don't care how much it ends up costing. I am really fighting angry and fearful tears right now. God promises not to give me more than I can bare and leads me from the temptation to be afraid. I am praying now for this. Lead me from temptation.

On top of all this we got a call from the mortgage collections today. This freaked me out. I pay half the bill every 2 weeks plus a couple extra dollars just to keep things even, but apparently after 4 months of this, they tell (not me because they can not legally talk to me) Hubby that they do not accept partial payments. Now I am left to wonder how we are going to pay the full payment in 2 weeks. It also will take an entire paycheck now to pay the mortgage. Lord give me peace with this and cool my blood. I am so angry because they told us when we refinanced that they would set up a pay every two weeks schedule but never called us.

Lord, I pray one more time, lead me from temptation. The temptation to sin in anger, the temptation to worry and fear, the temptation to try to fix all of this myself. Lord, You are the only one who knows my heart and my capabilities. You alone can keep me at peace with myself and others. Lord, in the middle of all of this, Ollie asked me a random question. She said, "Mommy, does God win or the devil?" I really needed the jolt to remind me that in my battle where Satan knows just what can tempt me to sin, You will be victorious. You see my tears, you see, hear, and smell my prayers as fragrant incense. I'm offering it up to You this evening. Through the power of Jesus and His intercession for me, I know You receive them and are pleased with them.

After I published this, I remembered something Beth Moore said in Bible study last night. She said that sometimes we look at people who we expect should be blessed (she was talking about Zechariah and Elizabeth being barren) and we wonder why God did that to them. BUT she said that in situations like that, it is often God showing us what He did for them (causing her to conceive through His supernatural provision). Sometimes the blessing isn't something that comes easy to us, but instead in a problem that is impossible for us, He solves it by His power. What a blessing-- to have my problems solved supernaturally by God's power.

Patriotic Peacock

There is this realy cute blog I've come across through a friend of mine. She has some of the cutest things. check it out. It is called The Patriotic Peacock. The Patriotic Peacock is hosting a great giveaway! Check out CSNStores.com for all your children’s needs from nursery furniture to toys!"

Random photos

Ducks and birds and ducks

This morning after doing a little help setting up for our AHG yard sale tomorrow, I came home intending on working to get all my ducks in a row. I of course try this on a daily basis, but it never seems to work. Today when I opened the front door, a bird flew into the house. So instead of coming straight home to worry about "ducks", I spent forever chasing a bird through my house until I finally cornered it in my bathroom and caught it in a bowl. This bird not only cost me time, but it made a mess of my house. It bumped into everything knocking stuff over and off counters... I mean if it isn't my luck to have to clean up after a crazy bird too...

Oh well, it is kind of funny!

A scripture taken to heart

Today, in my Bible study time, there was a section which lead us to read part of Luke 7.

Luke 7: 36Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."
40Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you." "Tell me, teacher," he said.
41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[d] and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"
43Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled." "You have judged correctly," Jesus said.
44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."
48Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." 49The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"
50Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

I have read this many times, but never has it struck me with such intense directness. It was as if I were weeping at Jesus feet. I felt myself in such a humble role as He has forgiven and still forgives me of so many sins. I know that people who "knew me when..." would probably think much like Simon the Pharisee, "doesn't He know what she has done, or who she is?"

BUT, Jesus has cancelled my debt in it's enormous entirety. I owe Him nothing for I could never repay Him. AND this is OK with Him. He doesn't want me to repay Him-- such is His free grace, a gift without expecting one in return. I can only stand in awe-- complete humility for receiving such an expensive gift which I do not deserve nor can I come close to deserving. There is nothing earthly to compare. People have experienced having strangers pay off their home mortgage, celebrities rebuild their crumbling house into a beautiful mansion, received a million dollar check from Ed, but how many of us have sat down to consider the gift we have been given? I have been given the gift of eternal life. Life not here on this dieing planet, not in this aging body, not even in the paradises of this world which would seem a great place to spend eternity, but in heaven. In the presence of God. In a place where what I treasure here is nothing but road pavement there. Where riches are nothing more than building materials. Where the things of this world are trivial and meaningless and All Truth is displayed. Where I become like the angels and can be with God.

After experiencing this part of the Bible I was taken to this next verse. Luke 12:48 ...From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. I can't remember what the context of this section of the study was, but I know what it meant to me. Now that I have been given so much by my Savior, much will be asked of me. What have I been given? Forgiveness and eternal life. Now that I have been entrusted with so much, much more will be asked. With what have I been entrusted? The Truth.

I also remembered this verse which I will end with. Matthew 25: 29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. So I am expecting Him to keep this promise. I have faith, and am expectantly waiting for more! An abundance.

The tongue

I have been very convicted over the past few years to watch how I use my tongue. I have participated in a couple of Bible studies which focused on how powerful the tongue is. The Bible compares it to a ship's rudder, and a spark that ignites a huge fire. Tonight, as a group, our Wed. night Bible study group was challenged to think about it in preparation for Sunday's sermon. James 3 is the inspiring text.

James 3: 1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

I put in bold print two parts that really stand out to me. "It corrupts the whole person...", this means that one wrong slip of the tongue can ruin my witness. I may live a life according to my faith, but if one spark from my tongue meets up with a dry soul a fire will blaze (and I'm not talking about a holy fire.) One small, regretted word can not only cause a man to stumble, but will ruin or corrupt my whole person. I can only sit and wonder how many times I have burned someone with my tongue. How many times has my whole person has become corrupt over probably nothing more than a minor annoyance or a chance to be a part of a conversation, or a misunderstood phrase, or a subtle but honest stab... The strongest part of that particular verse is that the spark is set on fire by Hell itself! So a nasty word escaping my mouth comes from Hell.

I have often wondered things like, why can't we cure the common cold when we can send someone to space?, and why we can make bombs that kill thousands of people, but can't kill a tiny virus?... James points out a very similar curiosity-- we can tame all kinds of wild animals, but NO MAN has ever been able to tame the tongue.

He points out that we often praise God, then turn right around and curse a man or I will add a woman who is made in God's image. Ladies, how true is this? I have so many times wondered why someone acts as they do and can get pretty judgemental about speculated causes for their actions (like why is that person just stupidly standing in the middle of the aisle while I am waiting patiently to go around-- or at least I am sure people have wondered that of me as I stand dumbfounded in the Wal-Mart after looking everywhere for what used to be right there!) Anyway, we ladies are so often accused of gossiping, but maybe this is not all we do. We get awfully competitive over how our children compare with those of other moms, or how our mothering is better than that mother whose kids is going berserk over not getting the Fruit Loops in the cereal aisle... I have (before having children) often thought, "if only that mom would spank that kid"; now I find myself thinking, "oh, I am so glad it is not just me!!!!!" I still hear people say things along these lines, but I usually have a story to tell about how I can't say anything because I have had the exact same scenario-- lost children, child putting NASTY things in their mouths, child going shoeless in the winter or going out without a coat in 20 degree weather... No matter how dumb I might be acting (or the lady at the grocery store, or the person tailgating us on the interstate, or the person at church that just keeps things stirred up... whoever this person might be, they) I am made in God's image. I may not be a great resemblance of Him at the moment, but He is there! There is a song that I love, by Brandon Heath, with the lines, "give me Your eyes so I can see, everything that I've been missing, give me Your love for humanity..."

Lord, I will end these thoughts with the earnest request for eyes that see humanity as You and a heart that loves humans like You do. Lord, only You can tame my tongue. Keep me aware of how I am using my tongue and may it always be pleasing to You. Lord, I know I will slip-- I will ask You now to show me when I do and give me the words to put out the initial fire before it becomes a wildfire!

spending habits

When I was in high school I had only a few financial responsibilities which included car payment, insurance and gas (not atypical from most kids). I did have a very good paying job where my bills didn't make a dent in my paycheck. I was bringing home between $300 and $500 a week as a waitress. I feel into a trap: I used spending and buying as a therapy in a way. I actually felt a thrill or a high, as one might say, bringing home new stuff. I had so many pairs of shoes, and so many Cd's, shoes, clothes, shoes... I would experience this high and as soon as the high wore off, I had to go shopping again. It was very much an addiction. Since then I have learned somewhat to control myself in this manner, but I am not sure an addict ever loses the temptation. I still get a very tingly feeling when I buy something new. It makes me feel good.

Today, I do not have the extra cash to feed my habit and haven't for several years. It seems that I have replaced my spending money with spending time. I realized tonight that the phrase "time is money" works as a new addiction for me. What I mean is that I have been given time as opposed to money at this point in my life, and I am wondering if I am using this provision in a way that is pleasing to God. I am aware that as I fill my schedule it makes me feel important, and when I finish a task on my list of scheduled events, I get that familiar rush I used to get from bring home new stuff. It is almost as if I am shopping with time. I am tempted to rationalize my current "addiction" with thoughts like, "but I am doing it for the church", or "it is worthy of my time"...

When I failed to be a steward of my money, I proved to be untrustworthy; I think the same thing could apply with being a poor steward of my time. Now, in comparing this with the parable of the talents (Matthew 25) I am sure that time could be interchangeable with the talents given to the servants. In a nutshell... The men who invested their [time] wisely were rewarded, but the man who buried his [time] in the ground was reprimanded. I am now struggling to find God's will for my time. As I wait on the Lord to show me His will, He does promise to give me strength. I am hoping that this strength will extend to the time I have already committed without seeking His advise first. I have often heard that just because I am doing something for God, if He hasn't asked me to do it, then He may not have wanted me to do it-- I liken this to my children offering to "help" me sweep or paint or do dishes.

I offer my time as a free will offering, and I do so with much joy. I just pray that You, Lord will accept my offering as sincere and that it will be pleasing to You. I pray that You will show me how and what You want from my time. Help me not squander my time or over spend my time. Give the wisdom to know how to spend my time and forgive me for misspent time.

So tired...

I think the crazy chaos that started about 2 weeks ago is pretty much over as of this afternoon (although now I do have 10 days worth of Bible study to make up). My mom and hubby both told me that I packed an awful lot of stuff into a 2 week period of Fall Break and that I may have planned too much. Well, it wasn't too much, for I accomplished everything to my best, but now I am drained. I do have to finish my Bible study and plan for AHG meeting tomorrow, but other than that and clean my disastrous house and get back to school...I just really would like a nap, but I am now remembering I have to go and give blood this afternoon. I really am becoming an admirer of those people who can live with such a full schedule all the time, or maybe I just feel sorry for them??? I am glad for the 16 hour job yesterday in North Carolina. (I just fell asleep at the key board trying to read what I wrote, so...) I am going to take a nap and hope for time later.

We return.

Well, we return. We had such an amazing time in Williamsburg. We visited Williamsburg and Jamestown, went fishing, fossil hunting, riding, a trip to the auction block (Oh, so awesome are the treasures I found!!) we even had a exciting and torturous trip to the ER. Yes, the turkey after being told too many times to count to quit pestering Oreo (my uncles dog) got bit in the face. 2 stitches in her nostril--ugh.

It is amazing how much history is left lying all over this area, completely uncared for and seemingly an inconvenience for building and contemporary life. You wouldn't believe the fossils we picked up just walking down the James River. The biggest fossil finding site (where my uncle's finds have filled two curios full -- artifacts and fossils) has just recently had huge condos built on it. There are old human bones out there along the river (which he has reported) and no one cares. (He said there was an old cemetery that was washed into the river a long time ago.)

The turkey made friends with chickens, dogs (even though she was bitten it did not deter her), fish, crabs, shrimp, horses, bugs...

Ollie caught 15 fish and almost caught a crab with her pole. She got 2 porcelain dolls for her collection.

They both went swimming, in their clothes I might add, in the James River, went riding on my cousins horse... just had a ball. Ollie told me that she loved the trip to Williamsburg.

#2

Obvious attacks

It is so obvious... days after I blog about my Provider, Satan strikes and tries to make me feel that everything is up to me and or us. He tempts me with jealousy, greed, fear, and just general unrest.

I'll explain: This weekend at work, I was the cashier-- my requested position with a base pay good enough for me to send my children to my mothers house for the weekend. I signed on for this job and agreed to the pay... actually looking forward to it. Satan saw my peace and security and then he flashed the servers tips in my face (so much money). I was so tempted to feel jealous and annoyed with the fact that I worked just as hard... and that I was the first impression... so many jealous thoughts crossed my mind. God reminded me of the parable in Matthew 20--The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard. He also reminded me that He will fulfill all my needs.

Satan threw at me reasons to fear-- unforeseen vet bills, tax bills, dwindling savings, a threatened economy (when my husbands job is totally reliant on the economy), necessary car repairs... all reasons to fear IF we had to do it ourselves.

A feeling of unrest because, "How am I going to get everything done that I have committed myself to do before we leave Thursday?" Again, emphasizing the I in my scenario.

Tonight, I am reminded that God is with me and fills my "with" need (as Beth Moore so eloquently described in Bible Study). Just as He provided for the Israelites He will provide for me (and He always has in the past). I only need to put my whole life in His hands and He will finish what He has started. He set my feet on the path and He will not lead me into despair. Another point Beth laid out in front of me is that God's glory and goodness are interchangeable and even though His glory may sometimes be painful, it is always good. I will cling to this as He molds me into whatever shape He has in mind, however painful it may be at times. I know the end result will bring Him glory.

So I will NOT fear, be jealous, greedy, or unsettled, instead I give these over to Jesus for He has taken my sin and traded me for His righteousness. I will cloth myself with His peace, gratefulness, humility, and faith. I thank God so much for sending Him to become my sin so I can become His righteousness.

done with cake #1

The baby shower cake.

Chaos = my life at the moment...

This is the ever waited for weekend of the International Festival in our town where some 25,000 people usually attend. I typically, as I am this year, send my children to my mother's house for safe keeping and I work at the cafe basically non-stop during the waking hours. I love this job. I got my request and get to be front line in dealing with the people. I will work the cash register-- woo hoo right? So what is so cool about that? It is long hours, with next to no breaks, on my feet with little to no movement (very bad for degenerative disc disease, but I do have a TENS unit I will use)... anyway, the people who come from all over the world to this festival are so awesome-- I can't wait to blog about them next week. At first glance many seem eccentric (what is wrong with that????), but I have had the pleasure of seeing just how people with something in common can come together as strangers and be a "people". They are strangers that have known each other for years. (This is the only way I know how to explain.) I have had customers many times do things for each other like, give the stranger in front of the the exact change so they do not have to break a $50, offer to share a table with a group behind them to "save space" in a very crowded restaurant, pay for a stranger in line behind them, exchange addresses and phone numbers... I witness what is possible with humanity. How, when there is a commonality, people come together and are unified. I have never heard them argue over whose favorites are better (I am being somewhat illusive trying not to give away where I live-- and the exact type of festival would blow my cover), where they should go first, whether this years feature artists were as good as last... Unity. I get to be a part of this (I may not have the same interests as they do, but I have a shared part in feeding them. So, as I take their orders and subsequently their money, I get to share with them my smile and I guess a piece of myself. I have been doing this every year for the past 7 years and I actually have many, many repeat customers that I remember and who strangely enough remember me. Two of these years I worked I was FAT pregnant and so many people ask me about my children just from the memory of me trying to reach the cash register from the distance of my belly. I am so looking forward to this weekend. I hope that in sharing a piece of myself I will impart a little of what makes me who I am. I hope that through my service they will see Christ (for it is He who I serve).

Besides the long hours at the cafe, I have two cakes I am working on. At the moment I have one of them in the oven. Oh, and I got two more orders tonight for cakes over the holidays-- I was told I need business cards (whoa... whoa). This is a little over the top for me. I have been told for a long time to actually go into business, but, oh, this is a scary thought. Anyway, I am so blessed by my Lord to have the opportunities I have. He gives me what I need, whether it is my super awesome, flexible employer who works with me in my harried life and allows me to be part-part time and basically choose my own schedule (who does that?), or a job making a cake (He gives me this skill-- I am not qualified to sell cakes, I have pretty much NO training). Well, Thank You Lord for being my Jehovah Jireh-- my Lord who provides!

Wake me up!

Tonight, after I got home from Bible study, I was on the phone with my sister in FL when I heard Ollie up in the bathroom. About 10 minutes or so later, she started crying. Hubby went back there first, and I went back to check out the problem with worst case scenario in mind (stomach virus). I got there and she was still asleep. I got her off the commode and began looking for her underpants, which I found in her bedroom. She picked them up and straightened them and started putting them on like a shirt. I asked her if I could help and she said, "no". She then put an arm in each hole and started pulling the waistband over her head; I asked her if she knew what she was doing and she said, "yes". I again offered to help her as she stared mindlessly at the underpants. Finally, she accepted my help and I dressed her and put her in the bed.

How many times do I do this, spiritually speaking? I, in a state of complete disorientation proceed to do things my way, completely asleep with my Father over me asking if I would like His help. I, of course, say, "no" and proceed to put my panties on my head. It is not until I realize I can't breath with them over my face that I give into His help. He is there patiently waiting to help me-- laughing (maybe) at my stubbornness and mishaps. [I know I have done things so DUMB that my God would have to laugh at me. He is the creator who gave us a sense of humor in His image.] I wonder how many laughs He has gotten out of my spiritual sleep walking. I am sure He has had His moments of aggravation at me, or anger, or exasperation... but I have never much considered Him laughing at me.

I searched the Bible, quickly-- not in depth, for instances where God laughed. I didn't really find laughter used in a humorous instance, but I kept coming back to this one verse, so I finally looked it up and read it. It actually fits what I am talking about.

Proverbs 1:24-26 (The Message)
22-24 "Simpletons! How long will you wallow in ignorance? Cynics! How long will you feed your cynicism? Idiots! How long will you refuse to learn? About face! I can revise your life. Look, I'm ready to pour out my spirit on you; I'm ready to tell you all I know. As it is, I've called, but you've turned a deaf ear; I've reached out to you, but you've ignored me. ...*

How many times have I been an idiot? God offered me His Spirit and I scoffed at Him. I am glad that when I finally woke up from my daze He was there wanting me. I don't imagine this particular time He was laughing (not really a laughable time in my life) more the anger here or frustration... BUT He was there, lovingly waiting to pour out His Spirit into me! The full power of God living right inside me!

*...25-28 "Since you laugh at my counsel and make a joke of my advice, How can I take you seriously? I'll turn the tables and joke about your troubles! What if the roof falls in, and your whole life goes to pieces? What if catastrophe strikes and there's nothing to show for your life but rubble and ashes? You'll need me then. You'll call for me, but don't expect an answer. No matter how hard you look, you won't find me.

Is this blaspheming against the Holy Spirit or what? Making a joke or mockery of the Holy Spirit. The next couple of chapters are filled with titles for the Holy Spirit-- read it http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+2&version=MSG . Anyway the point is that the Holy Spirit is alive and willing and available as my counselor, but so often I am asleep and ignore, or can't hear His offer to help. Lord, my prayer is that You wake me up when I am sleep walking. I know first hand how hard this is to do, for Ollie is really hard to wake. I never really got her to wake tonight. Don't let me sleep walk right off a cliff, or even walk around with my panties on my head!

A stale day to rejoice in...

Today, I think that I need some inspiration, motivation... I don't know... I guess I just need to remind myself that this is the day that the Lord has made. My human me feels all ugh and annoyed with the mundanes of Monday. It is raining, again; I have a pile of laundry, again; I have to mow the grass, again; I have to re-clean the house, again; I DON'T HAVE TO COOK THOUGH!!!!!!, (I guess there is one good thing)... On days like this, all I can do is give it to the Lord. The Holy Spirit inside tells me to get up and do it for His glory and I will feel better. Oh the struggle of flesh and spirit... How can doing mundane tasks make me feel better? I guess it is not the task, but that I am giving God the glory of my job accomplishment (for it certainly isn't me that got me out of bed this morning). I can rest assured that my mundane job matters because it is one assigned to me by God. I am to take care of my family, and even though it may seem under appreciated or unnoticed it is vital to the success of our little life. I can only imagine what life would be like for my family without me-- I am important. I am to teach my daughters, and even though this may seem fruitless at times (at least with the Turkey), I know it is making an impression (just listening to her vocabulary at 2 tells me this, and watching how she loves other people shows me she is learning compassion). I am to remember that God's love endures forever. He is with me even on days such as today. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

I read Psalm 118 to remind myself why I am to rejoice in today. It is so full of references to Jesus and long before Jesus came. Jesus was there with David, and He is here with me... so I am up to bring Him glory and do my job with a smile and give my success to Him as praise and glory.

Our news

First, I have a funny story about Ollie-- I have to tell it first before I explain our news. She has been begging for a baby brother for I don't know how long now but doesn't understand the "can'ts" and "will nevers" that I try so hard to explain. Anyway, the other day I got some news about a surprise I had been working on for a few days and wanted to share my success with them. I called the girls inside to show them what we were getting the following day. When Ollie came in and we were still waiting on the slow Turkey, I sent her to get the "baby toys" that were under the table. She looked at me with eyes huge and full of hope and excitement, "ARE WE GETTING A BABY TOMORROW?" she asked... anyway I though it was funny. I explained we were getting a new dog and the toys were for her. So allow me to introduce our newest family member-- Kiki (name is not changed to protect her innocence, I figure- what's the point??).

Here she has stolen a hairband from the Turkey and the three of them are playing catch Kiki. Kiki would stop and turn around and tease them, then run some more. Too cute!

A prayer

Lord, my prayer is for You to radiate from my life in such a way that my transparency will allow others to see You. Lord, You have demonstrated to me this week ways to love others in spite of circumstances which would typically cause a reaction not of You. Lord, You have shown me how the enemy will hate my transparency. You have used my friend and his frustrating situation to teach me something about how to treat others in love and not react in frustration. Lord, as I grow in my faith and look less like me and more like You, remind me of who You are everyday. I often find myself thinking, "whoa, where did that come from" in my actions. Not because of a bad reaction, that wouldn't shock me. It is when something I do is not me but You, this is when I find myself amazed at You. You are the only thing that is good in me. Make me like You. Remind me of who You are, everyday.

Lord, I pray for a specific thing that is missing in my personal harvest. Lord, teach me gentleness. As I read the fruit of the Spirit, I realized I am severely lacking in this part of the fruit. Lord, I wonder what You will do to teach me gentleness. I have often been told to beware of praying for patience because You don't just give it out, You teach it. I can't wait to see how You teach me gentleness.

Planting and impatience

I love planting my flower garden, and I love planting a vegetable garden. I hate to tend a garden and harvest it, but I sure love to enjoy the harvest. This leads me to have flowers which grow every year without much help, and without much care to keep them alive. I love zinnias, daisies, irises, touch-me-nots, day lilies, morning glories... I have some really beautiful flowers which require little or no work.

When I plant my seeds, I am so impatient for the result-- the harvest. It is the same when I plant a seed for Christ. I was just sitting here thinking about how wonderful it would be to see the seeds I have planted in some of my friends grow into a beautiful harvest. I can only sit and wait and if tending needs to be done, do what I can. I am so desperately impatient to see my friends become Christians. I can only sit and pray that the harvest will be plentiful. I remember a time when I got to enjoy the harvest of a seed I helped plant (I am not the only one out there throwing seeds). A lady I worked with was baptized a while back and she came to me so proud of what Jesus had done for her. I broke down and cried with her. I want to experience this more!

Like in my gardens at home, all I can do is plant the seeds, and faithfully do what tending needs to be done and the Lord creates the harvest. I seem to choose the easy path of planting the seeds (not only in my garden) of Christianity too. I have never been out of my comfort zone really. I stick with what I know. What I mean is I have never gone to another country or culture, I have never risked my life to tell someone the good news, I have never had to choose between loved ones and my faith, I have never been imprisoned or tortured for my faith... There are believers, brothers and sisters out their going through these things right now for their faith in Jesus. I get a newsletter every month from Franklin Graham's Samaritan's Purse ministry and it always reports on the persecuted church. I read these things and I grieve with my "family" over their trials. I am so thankful for where I am and the country we live in. I often feel guilty that I have it so easy here. I am obviously super weak, for God promises not to give us more than we can bear. Oh, how strong these people must be and how they must be so faithful to rely on the strength of Jesus to get them through their persecution. What if His plan for me included these things. I know that God is faithful to keep His promises. What would I do if I got the call to go out of my comfort zone?

School on location...

Today was our field trip day. The girls got to experience a little of life from 1790. They dressed the part too. We started our lesson with a short video about the family who lived (and was still living-- it is a living history museum) at the homestead. They toured the museum, did some roaming, did a stenciling project, took the tour of the homestead and met the family, made their very own taper candles, had a picnic, oh yeah and had lots of fun. Now we are home and they are plumb worn out! Early to bed tonight.

God is Home

Home is where the heart is... Our home is at 413 DC Road and we love it. Home is certainly a place where you can take your shoes off and no one cares if your feet stink. :)

We often use the term home in different ways. For example we went home to my parents house this weekend, and we went home to our church we first attended together as a couple and the one I grew up in. Then we came home to have a Sunday evening picnic in our home church. An even more final and rewarding homecoming would be my sister's grandmother waiting to go home to Jesus any day now...

Where our home is also changes as we follow God's plan. Another sister has a sign that I love on her front porch-- "Home is where the Army sends us."

No matter where I am, I love the thought of "going home". It brings to mind people who love me for who I am, and accept me "warts and all". Home is a place full of memories, sometimes not all good, but usually so much more good than bad. Home is a place of contentment, joy, relaxation, friendliness, LOVE... I just love the idea of being home or going home.

While we were at our old home church this weekend, I talked to a lot of old friends whom I have mostly lost contact with. Although, I missed my precious Hila who is like a grandmother to me, I did run into a young girl (well, now a very bright and lovely woman) whom I used to take care of as a little girl. She is married now and it sounds as if she has an exciting job (and she was home schooled). I have another old friend whose wife is scheduled to have a C-section on Thursday to have their second baby. Another "little boy" who used to hang out with my baby brother and pester me (during my Michael Jackson phase - quite young) is expecting his first baby in a few months...

These stories are just proof of how fast time goes by and how home changes. You turn your eyes around for a second and years have flown by. There seems to be very little that is constant and absolute in this world, even where the forever loved home is concerned. Things are always changing, everyone sees things differently, there seems to be nothing that will absolutely be the same for me today as it was 20 years ago (certainly not my hips:D )... EXCEPT there is one absolute. Jesus and His love for me. His passion for me will never change. His homecoming/reunion party He has in store has been planned since before time was created. God's pursuit of me-- to bring me Home, has been going on since the day He breathed life into Adam. Home may be ever changing, but my destination Home is going to forever be the same. I can rest assured that in times when life seems to be flying by at break neck speeds, children growing way to fast, self seems to be aging by the minute... God's presence in my life is still just as strong as it was on the day He planned me.

So, I go back to what all would agree to be a constant in the idea of home... "Home is where the heart is", or home equals love. Well the Bible says God is Love. So if home is love and God is love then God must be Home! I just sit and wrap my mind around that and feel so warm and full of joy. God is Home. I went back and read the first four or so paragraphs and inserted "God" or "to God" or "with God" into every place I have written home. Wow!

I just really intended on bragging about my friends whom I got to see this weekend, but somehow God took me on a little different journey here.

A note to my critics.

I love that you read my blog. I hope that maybe my life stories will plant a seed that God will harvest in His time. I hope that everyone who reads this will see that being a Christian mom, wife, woman... is not a life of perfection-- it NEVER could be. I hope that God can use my transparency to touch someone for Him.

I will often have typo's or grammar problems in my writing, I do not have the time in the day to sit and proof read over and over, nor do I have the money or desire to hire an editor to make sure my writing is perfect-- back to the lack of perfection I wholeheartedly claim. I do not need "editors" for I am not getting paid. If this is the only thing that keeps someone reading my blog, I am happy to make mistakes. I will not publish corrections of my mistakes, and I will not go back to fix them-- I might appear perfect then to someone else-- who knows! :) I have often wondered why I get so many mean comments--which I have started just blocking. I have figured it is Satan using people to poke at me. All I can say is this, "God's finger is bigger, so poke away man!"

going to mama's house

wE ARE GOING TO MY MOM'S HOUSE THIS AFTERNOON. tHE GIRLS ARE REALLY EXCITED ABOUT GETTING TO SEE pOPPY. tHEY DON'T GET TO SEE HIM AS MUCH AS THEY DO nANNY AND THEY LOVE THEIR pOPPY. lORD KEEP US SAFE ON OUR TRIP. Oops caps lock-- funny!

God's pursuit

Watch this.

I was speachless

First of all, I need no rude comments from anon here!

Last night at Bible study I was in awe at the lesson. All I could do was listen. David was talking about a very deep subject, if that word even fits. He was talking about our resurrection.

He posed one initial question for us to think about-- If the life we have on this Earth is given in faith that we can prepare for our resurrection, then what are we striving for in our resurrection?

What questions do we all share about this time? When will it be? What will I look like? Will babies still be babies? What will Heaven look like? How old will my body be?...

Jesus says we will be like the Angels not being given to human desires. Matthew 22:30At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. 31But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you, 32'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'[a]? He is not the God of the dead but of the living." With this being the case, those of us who long for our mansions in the sky where we will get to see our loved ones who have passed, are dreaming of a "resuscitation" not a resurrection. In our resurrection, we will not have a human body with human desires or needs. When Jesus was Resurrected, He was able to either walk through a closed and locked door or just appear among His followers who were locked in a room out of fear of the Jews. Besides that His appearance was something that would have caused His friends to fear for they did not recognize Him until He gave them a sign. So our "bodies" will not be our human images.

When we are resurrected, we will be with God. We will be restored to our original purpose. We will be with God. WE WILL BE WITH GOD! How awesome is that? Since the fall, God has been pursuing us. He has bridged the gap in many ways to be with us. He told Moses to build the Tabernacle (an exact replica of what was in Heaven, a shadow so to speak) so that He could dwell with the Israelites. He commissioned the Ark of the covenant for the same purpose. He sent His one and only Son to live with us and die like us. He sent His Holy Spirit to dwell in our souls. All of this is to prepare us for being with Him.

Having the Holy Spirit dwell in us right now is as close as we get to experiencing the joy (not a big enough word) of being face to face with God. The idea of being face to face with God makes me tremble!

So the next time I wonder about my "life" in heave, I will remember Paul's response to such questions (very harsh language I might add), 1 Corinthians 15: 36 How foolish! When I get to Heaven "my life" will be revolved around the One and Only, True God. There will be no room for "me". As I store up treasures in Heaven here on Earth, they will not be for my gain, they will be to lay at my Lord's feet. What else would I do with a crown of righteousness, or treasures stockpiled. I certainly would never put a crown on my head in the presence of Jesus! The more treasures I lay up, the more I will have to lay at His precious feet. He deserves them... Not me!

And I might add, He deserves, from me, as many as I can store up and more. So what am I striving for in this life in anticipation of my resurrection? To lay up as many treasures as I can so to present them to my King.

Something stinks...

I have a funny and gruesome story. Last week sometime, my mom and I (and the girls) had come in the house after being gone for the morning and smelled this awful smell. I was mortified. One of my biggest fears is having a stinky house that my nose has gotten used to and everyone else smells it when they come in. This day it was horrendous. I immediately went to sniff the garbage can to see if something in there had started stinking, but that wasn't it. I sniffed all over my house until my nose was numb, sore and I no longer could smell anything. THEN... I opened my basement door. Whoa! It about knocked me down. It was coming from the basement. Now, we had just recently cleaned the basement and even bleached the floors, so I couldn't imagine what it could be. The only thing different in the past couple of days was this new/old pressure washer Hubby got and had been working on for a few days. That had to be it. I went down there and was sniffing around and came to no other conclusion. I sprayed air freshener like mad. So my house now smell like funk with perfume. Not pleasant. For 2 days I looked through the basement, sniffing and Hubby did too. It was not his pressure washer. By this point we concluded the ever worsening stink was something dead. I racked my brain for what could have gotten in the basement and died. I sometimes leave the garage door opened while I mow the yard, but what could have come in? I really began to doubt my worth as a house wife; I can't even keep my house from having dead things in it. Who does that and can be called a good housewife? I felt like one of those parents you read about in the papers whose children are taken away because of unsanitary living conditions. I called my mom who had gone home a few days prior and told her we still had not found what died. I asked her if maybe a bird could have gotten in and died. She said she didn't know, but she would pray that I found it soon. So, I got off the phone and proceeded to spray air freshener again all over upstairs and down. When I got down the steps I noticed the odor was very strong at the bottom of the steps. I started sniffing and moving things. THEN, I moved a chair... Oh, yuck! There lay a bag of what was a week ago frozen chicken. Hubby had graciously organized our freezer and oops, forgotten a bag of chicken. So I picked it up and threw it in the garbage can outside, then poured a huge puddle of bleach in it's stead. Shew. I was so relieved. It wasn't my lack of being a good housewife, just an oversight with foul results. Now our garbage can smells really bad, as does the whole area around it. I can't wait till tomorrow when the garbage man comes. I will be bleaching our can-- Thank You Lord for bleach.

Hubby asked me such a funny thing after all this. He asked me why I didn't just sit the "dead chicken" out side for him to bury it instead of throwing it in the can. Hmmmm. I wonder why? Although a burial is what that foul smelling fowl needed...

Pride as a verb

Today in the car, the Turkey said something (I am left only to my imagination for what it was) that caused Ollie to preach to her about what the Bible says about "priding". She told the Turkey that the Bible says it is wrong to pride. She then went on to explain that telling someone how pretty or smart you are is a way of priding, and that it is OK if someone tells this to you, you are just supposed to tell them thank you.

What does the Bible say about pride? It is mentioned many, many, many... times. Mostly in warning against pride, but as I have searched it is never used as a verb! :)

My very favorite is,
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 29:23 A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

Galatians 6:3-5 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load.

Song

Steven Curtis Chapman has a new song out that makes me grieve when I hear it. I actually cry every time I hear it and ache for him. The song is "Heaven is the face" and is written about his very young daughter who was killed in a freak accident in their driveway a little over a year ago, I think. This song makes me cry just writing about it (in tears now). So many times I get busy or distracted in my own world that I get annoyed with my girls endless talking and arguing and what ever noise they may be making... I have often complained at the end of the day that my ears were bleeding from endless words and noises. I hear this song and I can't help but think about what if those noises were gone. SCC doesn't get to hear those noises anymore, as is the case for many parents. I think about this song and I begin to cherish every annoying sound and I am sure I am not the only stay-at-home mom who has tired ears by the end of the day-- I thank my Lord that He has given me these 2 precious little girls and I pray for patience when life gets in the way of cherishing moments.

My new cooking venture...

I am soooooo excited about starting this new project. I have bought some extra Pyrex bake ware so that I will have enough dishes to freeze meals in and then bake when it is time. I have tons of Tupperware microwave dishes coming Sunday. I intend on doing my shopping Tuesday and cooking all day next Wednesday. Hubby is off and so he will teach and take care of the girls while I embark on this adventure. I have already planned my meals (minus a little fine tuning) and grocery list. I will keep a separate blog for anyone interested in my progress. I will list the grocery list and bill, list of the foods I am cooking... The new blog will be listed under my blog list. I will post the recipes that do not freeze well and those that do. I hope this will be a tool for me (too help recall ideas and lists to prevent less work in the future) and anyone who might like to try this idea themselves.

Jumping in the deep end; can't wait to see if I can swim!

OK, so it is simply a metaphor, I certainly know how to swim. I have just joined AHG, (American Heritage Girls) as a Unit leader. Ollie is joining as a Pathfinder and will be in my unit. I am so excited to get started. Our first meeting is next week. The reason I used the aforementioned metaphor is that when I agreed to be a unit leader all I knew was the premise-- that it was a Christian based scouting program. I have never been involved in scouting before. No, I was never a brownie (love to eat them, but that doesn't count). After our training meeting tonight, I realize this ministry is going to require a lot of time and involvement (both of which I have available and have been waiting for the Lord to show me my place.) I feel like all of a sudden the Lord is opening up floodgates of time in my life. It seems that just a few days ago, I felt as if I did not have time to get everything I needed done in a day (between school, cooking-cooking-cooking, cleaning, momming [not a word I know anon, but I like it], my own study, exercising...). All of a sudden I am shown light at the end of my tunnel vision.

I am embarking on a new method of cooking (the once a month kind and freezing 30 meals + breakfasts in one day) and can't wait to see how much time I save.

I am also toying with the idea of doing away with everyday nap time. My Turkey is nearly 3 and is no longer sleeping at this time and really is not even resting. The only thing I lose here is my 2 hours of free time (which I usually use for my own quiet time and study-- I really only need 45 minutes or so to do my Bible study.)

So now I am thinking that there will be more room to take the family out to the track in the evenings before supper- because I will not have to cook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are what we eat...

... and lately I've slipped back into eating too much sugar. I am now on day 4 of no sugar and have already lost 5 of the 15 pounds I've gained after losing 60 over a year ago. I was sitting hear reading some research on HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) and came across this article. I also have read that not only are Americans over weight we are mostly starving ourselves nutritionally. HFCS has the effect to keep us from feeling satiated. The food industry banks on this and we are banking in added weight. We crave these high sugar foods and are putting less of the vitamin packed foods into our bodies. The commercial side of the food industry doesn't help this. There was a news story on the other day which showed gimmicks the food industry uses to make unaware consumers think they are buying healthy foods. Some of the foods listed in the healthy choices program (with a green check on the label) were Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Kids Cuisine, Fruit Loops... These healthy?

I have (since having children) tried to keep over processed food out of the house as much as possible. There are some occasions when we eat out (as a treat-- not really a treat to our bodies I suppose) where it is hard to get whole foods. I have found many brands of different foods that do not have HFCS or hydrogenated oils (trans fats). I still find that the products listed as 0Trans fats still can have partially hydrogenated fats which is still an over processed oil. I have switched to using mostly Olive oil in my cooking (or canola for baking). Other things that I try to keep stock in is fresh fruits. My girls love to have fruit for a snack, lunch and even breakfast. I used to use Splenda in all my sweet cooking (not really healthy, but the choice between man made sugar and diabetes causing sugar...?), but have since found a HEALTHY alternative-- Stevia. It takes very little and works just as well. It has no calories and is completely natural. I am going to make a pumpkin cheese cake with a nut crust, and low-fat cream cheese and sweetened with Stevia for my mom's birthday (she is coming up this week). I am curious to see how it turns out.



In all my reading, I came across this site which made me think about my own fridge. I wonder what people would think if they saw my fridge? It makes me really think about what I feed my family. I feel responsible for feeding My Hubby and both girls are depending on my good judgement. I am going to try even harder to make sure my family gets healthy, whole foods as much as possible.

"Beware of Apologetics", and hope as a salvation issue

This morning in David's sermon on Hope he pointed out the danger in apologetics. I have never really given this much thought, but he is right. Don't get me wrong (or David), the apologetics ministry is very good, but it can lead to problems. As David said, beware because it tries to use science to prove Christianity. When you start trying to prove something meant to be based on faith the water tends to start getting a little too deep. Apologetics is great for us to understand and study as a way of confirming our faith and for making us feel more connected with our faith, but we mustn't base our faith solely on it and shrink God down to fit our limited capability of understanding. Our faith as the Bible describes is, Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. What happens when something or someone proves that what we might be basing our faith on is wrong? Would this collapse our whole belief system. Hopefully not. David illustrated this issue with Copernicus and Galileo and what happened to the church when the earth was proven to be round and not flat. This new scientific finding led the church to question their whole understanding of God's creation. We will never (until He shows us in Heaven-- one question I can't wait to ask) understand God or His expansive creation. He allows our minds to wrap around a few small things, but we cannot bank our belief system on these, very small things in comparison to totality. Faith is meant to be more than belief in what we can prove-- would it then still be faith? And faith is a salvation issue.

What saves us? Is it Grace? Faith? Baptism? Well the Bible says, Ephesians 2:5 "...made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved." Therefore the answer is grace.

BUT, it also says, Romans 1:17 "For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: 'The righteous will live by faith.'" So faith then.

OK, what about 1 Peter 3:21 ...and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ..." OK, so baptism then.

Here's another thought altogether. Romans 8:24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?

Well, David put it all together quite nicely-- God freely gives grace to any who will take it; through the receiving of this grace we become faithful, and obedient doing the things, like baptism, which we are told to do, and as all this happens we will have hope of our eternal life to come. Isn't this the Gospel of Christ in a nutshell?

Regressing to perfection.

This morning I found myself lying in bed annoyed with the fact that I have so much to do to get things perfect at my house. I was reminded at that point of my first few blog entries. I am reminded that my job is not to be perfect but to do my job with a heart of joy and obedience. I sat down to do my morning devotions and today's devotion was on 1 Corinthians 1:7 "Just think--you don't need a thing, you've got it all! All God's gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale. And not only that, but God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus. God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that" (NCV). I am told here that God is with me on this adventure-- If I were meant to be perfect, why would I need this encouragement? Later in the devotion, Lori Fairchild says, "As Christian women, we sometimes think that an adventure is outside what God has planned for us. We have this view of the "perfect" woman who can recite scripture, has perfect children, can make pie from scratch, always has a clean house and sings like an angel in the church choir. We don't really think God has any life-changing adventures in mind for us." Other than singing like an angel, which will NEVER happen here on earth, this is the rut I keep finding myself in. I keep thinking, "how can I do perfect at everything I am obliged to do", instead of just doing my best. I am encouraged this morning that my adventure will be to see if I can get it all done to the best of my ability. So if I do not get my house spotless, it is OK, or if I do not get a 3 course gourmet, healthy, dairy free meal three times or even one time today, it is OK... (It is a good thing too, because this rarely happens). On this note... Lord be with me today and help me to do all I have to do in a way that brings You glory.

An experiment.

After reading the story of Noah, seeing the natural tunnel and discussing how the Flood in the Bible would have been such a great amount of water... we did a little experiment. Hubby made a box and we tested what a little water would do to the sand and clay, and what a lot of water would do. We talked about how those who do not believe the Bible think that it would have taken millions of years for gradual rain to change the earth (which it would) and make landforms like Natural Tunnel, but those of us who believe the Bible know there was a time when the whole earth was covered completely for 150+ days and over a full year for the water to go back to normal and therefore the changes were significantly faster than millions of years.

Tears in my eyes!

This article in today's HSLDA Newsletter brought tears to my eyes. I am, once again, thrilled with the prospect of home schooling my girls. Read it if you have doubts!

Along the same line, many of the objections to us home schooling families is our lack of socialization of the children. To this I have always just taken as a grain of salt, for we home schooling families know this is not true (unless, I suppose, you are schooling in a cave and never leaving or something equally as restrictive-- I am sure there are a few hermit home scholars out there.) Anyway, today at the library, Ollie and the Turkey were playing with two other children when a fifth little boy came up and his mother asked if he could join. Of course it was fine... He sat down next to the Turkey and she looked at him and said, "Hi, you wanna play with me? My name's ___ and I am 2 and a 1/2 years old. Then he said, "Hi ___, my name is Nathan." The other moms and I just exchanged this knowing look that this had to be the most adorable conversation ever.

Just an overheard song.

I was just replying to anon in my self-esteem blog as I over heard my Ollie singing this impromptu song. "God is with us, God is with us, He is with us all the time. God is with us, He is right here with us and we can hug ourselves." I thought this was so fitting.

Pork marinade

I am going to start writing down recipes that I create that turn out good-- this means ones that I want to recreate. My problem now is that I make stuff then try to recreate it and can't remember what I put in it. So now I will add them here on my blog.

Recipe was for boneless pork chops-- a marinade. I took EVOO and heated it in a saucepan then added fresh rosemary and minced garlic for about 30 seconds (made an infused oil -- thanks Kristen). Then I poured it and some apple brandy over my pork and let it sit for several hours. Next time I will let it sit even longer. Be sure not to grill the chops too long for they will loose this yummy flavor.

Picnic in poison ivy

We went to Natural Tunnel St. Park Today for school.

Hubby taught Ollie how a steam engine works.

The girls got to pet fox and deer,

and kiss a baby deer.

They learned about coal.

And saw God's magnificent creation.
They learned how water can change the shape of the earth's crust (not over millions of years, but through enough water--the flood-- the land can be changed rather quickly).

I can't wait to take a trip to the Grand Canyon!

We hiked.

Saw a lizard and learned about camouflaged animals.

Walked across a swinging bridge.


Saw more of God's creativity.



And had a picnic in a poison ivy patch.

Oh yeah, Ollie can now pick out poison ivy from a bunch of other plants!

Mr. T and TNT

I had to title this blog that because these were things with which my little brother used to identify himself and this blog in a round about way is about him.

My Turkey made a macaroni and cheese sandwich with her biscuit tonight. This in itself is really nothing notable; however, her Uncle T has a way of making every meal into a sandwich. Hubby noticed her doing this and told her she was just like him, and I just love it! From the earliest times I can remember, my brother, initials TNT, made sandwiches out of everything. I love finding little quirks in my girls that remind me of their family heritage.

The girls were having a conversation between themselves tonight at dinner. Ollie was telling the Turkey about her friend J who has his arm in a sling because of a broken collar bone. She told the Turkey that he had fallen riding his skateboard down a ramp. Turkey said, "like Uncle T?" I was confused at first about what she meant, but then Hubby chimed in about T's wake board. Turkey started talking about how he jumps and flips on his wake board. She is so impressed with her Uncle T. She is a dare devil like him and now is eating like him... When in deep thought (hmmm, I am trying to picture that from Uncle T--joking)... she chews her tongue like her Auntie C. What a great combo. A contemplative, dare devil. That sounds scary.

Saturday school

Of course today most children would be or are out of school, for it is Saturday. However, Ollie loves school so much she does it every day. She is self-motivated in such a way we should all take lessons. She is a few pages shy of finishing her first reader already 2 weeks into school. We have nearly finished the Felicity series in the American Girls collection and will be moving on to James Town stories. Her violin teacher says she has already in less than 4 months, started to advance beyond some students who have been learning for a year or longer. She is determined to learn her new songs. She has memorized half of her addition facts (flash cards-- for I want her to not only be able to figure out the addition facts, which she does, but to have them committed to memory.) This morning when she was reading out loud, Hubby joked with her that only kids who were in trouble had to do school on Saturday. I am grateful for her willingness to learn. It may not always be this way. I am so glad we have decided to home school. At the rate she is going... well lets just say, I think she would be bored to tears in public school.

I ran into a former colleague today at the cafe, a teacher who taught down the hall from me. She commended me for making the choice to home school. She was also telling me about some of my former students-- they are in high school now, whoa, and 2 are on the football team. I pray that these two boys will use their talents and charisma for leading others into victory and not into trouble as they did in the 4th grade. I remember how hard being a teenager is.

Nearly 9 years, 5 years, 3 years, Fall, and over-flowing cups

Hubby and I are nearing our 9 year anniversary. I can't believe it has already been that long. I guess the whole saying, "time flies when you're having fun" is true. I still feel like a newly wed. I find myself looking at Hubby thinking to myself, I can't believe he married me, he is mine, and I am so thankful he is. I love to share with people about how I tried to win his heart through his stomach when I was just a girl. I actually learned to bake in order to gain his attention. Now that I know him as well as I do, I would have had better success if I had brought him meat and potatoes every night to work besides being at a legal age for him to consider. I found a birthday card, (and I wish so much now that I had kept it) after we were married and I was moving in, that we (all of his co-workers) gave him when he turned 30. I was 17 and I proposed to him, again. This card would be priceless to me now. At the time I showed it to him and thought it was cute, but it went into the garbage with a lot of other stuff. Anyway, I look forward to our life together as if it has just begun.

My "baby girl" Ollie, is about to turn 5. We are planning her party for Halloween day. She is going to have a costume party. I have started thinking a lot about the cake (of course) and the rest of the event. To me a party is an event, a work of art. This is only because I love to host a party. I love to be in the service/hostess position. I think this is why I love my ever so part time job so much. I work for a caterer and we put on parties all the time. I learn from the best and every job I learn something new. My boss, Beverly is, I dare to say, better than Martha or Paula... She is an artist. She has been in Southern Living magazine multiple times and many others. I absolutely love working with her. I hope that I can use what I learn to give my babies parties to remember.

My Turkey is about to turn 3. She will get 2 parties this year. We are having a family party at my parents house, two of my sisters and two brothers will be in from way out of town at this time and one is staying with mama and the other will be only 2 hours away, so it seemed smarter to have it there so all of our family members will be closer and traveling to the party will not be difficult. We have done this in the past and it is so great! I am not sure what theme the Turkey wants for her party. Right now she is fascinated with dinosaurs (namely Barney) and flying. (Ooh, maybe a hot air balloon theme???) I can't wait. I think I get more excited about their birthdays than they do, I guess this is normal. (Why else would we as moms go to so much trouble to plan birthday parties for our infants and toddlers?) Birthdays rank right up there with Christmas for me. (I do decorate at Halloween for Christmas-- Hubby thinks I'm nuts. Anon, you are not alone.)

I love the Fall season for so many celebrations happen. September is about here and Fall is on its way. I think Fall has always been my favorite season. I remember thinking there was nothing better than the crisp air to go crunch in the leaves on a hike, or sit and watch a football game... Now I think about hosting parties... My Tupperware party last night only made me more excited about Fall. (Not to mention the Tupperware lady has got to be the nicest lady on the face of the earth.)

Right now my cup runeth over. Thank You Lord for giving me things to look forward to and for giving me life so abundantly.

How Great is the Lord

Found this today on a blog I follow.

Lord, who am I and what is my family that you would have brought us this far? 2 Samuel 7:18

Self Esteem = self worship

I have no self-esteem. Don't feel sorry for me. This is a GOOD thing. I once had enormous self esteem. I knew I was attractive, smart, popular, following all the right rules, a "good Christian", I also was a snob in high school. Not that I snubbed the people you would think. I thought I was better than all of the kids who were disobedient, doing drugs, drinking-- the "in crowd"... then I found myself in the bottom of the barrel. This is exactly where I needed to be.

Last night at church, David posed a question for us to sit and talk about. He asked us what the importance of a moment of repentance is to a persons life. This question is posed during our discussion of the parable of The Lost Son. At first, superficially, the question seems as if it should be answered "well, one should repent frequently." This is not the type of repentance David is talking about. He is talking about the younger son, who finds himself in the bottom of the barrel and realizes his need for the farther. So in essence, he asked us how important is it in ones spiritual walk to reach the bottom of the barrel? To this question, I say it is essential. Jesus came to seek and find the lost. If you are not lost (well everyone is, but some just don't realize it) or have never reached the bottom of the barrel... David pointed out in the parable of the Lost Sheep, that Jesus was telling the Pharisees that He trusted them (the 99 sheep) to stay put while he went out to seek the 1 lost sheep. They were not "lost". However, they had their own problems. They may not have been lost as in they did not know where they were, but they instead refused to follow their shepherd... anyway back to the barrel... If a person has never reached the bottom of the barrel, then how can they fully understand their need for a savior? Reaching the bottom, or brokenness, doesn't have to be being in a literal pit of despair (that's where I found myself), but in a state where one realizes they are nothing without the Father. I say, brokenness is a key to salvation. Once again, if you are not broken then you do not need to be fixed, or as Jesus put it, if someone is not sick, they do not need a doctor. In light of what Paul says about us all having sinned and fallen short of God's glory, those people who do not need fixing... hmmmm, I wonder what they think about themselves. That they are not sinners? The Pharisees thought this.

Now back to the self-esteem... self-esteem means self-worship. Do you esteem yourself? The Pharisees did. I used to. Now as I teach my girls I want to teach them not to look in the mirror and think about all the good things about themselves, but to look in the mirror and think, "what can I do good for someone else today?" Now in doing this I am not putting them down or bringing their spirits to self-disgust, but instead I am teaching under the belief that all (even those who are disgusted with themselves) have an inborn sense of self-worship. This is why Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves. He knew we had a natural self love. So now, the esteem I want to have is Jesus-esteem. I want to teach my children to esteem Jesus and not themselves.

Jonah and the Older brother from Jesus' parable

I have been teaching the 2 year old class at church this month and we are teaching the story of Jonah. The main point of the lessons is "God sees us". After reading the book, The Prodigal God, I look at this story in a completely different way (my review of this book was posted a couple of days ago). I look at Jonah and see God addressing the same thing that Jesus dealt with in telling the parable of the lost son to the Pharisees. God was addressing Jonah's sense of superiority and merciless heart. Jonah believes he has the right to pass God's judgement on the Ninevites. He tells God after the Ninevites repented:

Jonah 4:1-3 But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. 2 He prayed to the LORD, "O LORD, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. 3 Now, O LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live."

In this story, as in the story of the lost son, God the Father deals lovingly with the wayward sinners and is merciful, life giving/party throwing for the repentant (I cling to this Truth), but He also deals lovingly to the elder brother and the Prophet who have no sense of mercy. In both stories the elder righteous brother and the righteous Jonah both choose not to enter God's party. Jonah literally tells God that he would rather die, he was so angry. I read this as a spiritual death right then and there for Jonah. He chooses to carry his hate and judgement rather than experience giving mercy. Likewise, the elder brother never goes into the party of the Father, again I see this as the spiritual death of the elder brother.

I just thought this was interesting. I think God must be serious when He tells us not to pass judgement on others. It, according to what I have read, is harder to repent from being superior or "holier than thou" than for the most wayward of sinners to come home.

Flat tire again...

I don't think there is a living soul who has had as many flat tires as me. I have had, on average, a flat tire every year since I was 16. I am not bragging, and I am not proud, but I am very confused. I am generally a safe driver and always (well almost) drive the speed limit. To my own defence there has been only one flat tire that I know was my fault (I hit the curb). This flat tire is due to a nail. Where and why do my tires find all those rogue nails in the road? I once had a flat tire due to a catfish bone. I know this came from our driveway where we used to live (it was a catfish and trout hatchery/pay lake/restaurant.) Next time I buy a new car, I am going to put a full size spare into the deal. I hate driving on a donut tire.

I won't even go into the number of times I have run out of gas... This is TOTALLY MY FAULT!

I bought the road hazard insurance with my new tires.

Which brother are you?

I read this book today during the girls nap time. This book is subtitled, Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith. Keller points out the significance of the role of the loving Father and how the message of the Gospel is summed up in one particular parable. He points out how Christians have made some misconceptions about the Gospel and, more than that, about our own role in the part of salvation. We all will find ourselves in the role of one of the characters of Jesus' parable-- either the younger brother or the elder brother.

The book centers around Jesus' parable of "The Lost Son". Timothy Keller points out that most people read this parable and think the main point of the story is to show how a sinner can come home, which it does, but it doesn't stop here. He points out that Jesus' target audience were not the sinners so much as the Pharisees and teachers of the law. He divides the parable into 2 Acts. The story of the younger son being Act 1.

This is the familiar part-- the wayward son who squanders his fathers money and winds up in a pig sty longing for the "pods the pigs ate". He decides to go home and beg to be hired as a servant for he knows he is no longer worthy of being called a son. The father sees him from a distance and runs (which Keller points out would be unheard of from a patriarch) to meet his son and lavishes him with love and clothing. He doesn't let the son grovel as the son had rehearsed. He accepts him back into the family as an heir with no explanation or frets on part of the son. This is where most people read the climax, but ah, Keller points out that it is not.

The second act consists of the elder brother. The elder brother, with as much disdain for his father as the first son had in asking for his share of the inheritance, refuses to join the feast. This makes a mockery of the father in front of the whole community who would be feasting with them. This son stands by his obedience and years of faithful service, and tells his father off more or less. The story shows the father, lovingly pleading for this law abiding son to accept that his brother is alive and asks him to join the party. This son was in as bad of a situation as the one the younger son had found himself, but the younger son recognized his pit; the elder son does not.

Keller points out that the story is about two ways to be separated from God. Both are ways of showing disdain for the Father. As he states, "There are two ways to be your own Savior and Lord. One is by breaking all the moral laws and setting your own course, and the other is by keeping all the moral laws and being very, very good (when I find the page # I quoted from, I'll add it)." The story shows how the younger son came to realize his need for the Father and was accepted into the feast, but the elder son out of spite never made it into the feast. Jesus left us wondering here. Did the elder brother ever realize that what he thought was making him worthy of a feast-- his deeds and obedience, were not, but the Fathers love for him was? Keller writes (and I must quote this whole paragraph)

"Elder brothers base their self images on being hardworking, or moral, or members of an elite clan, or extremely smart and savvy. This inevitably leads to feeling superior to those who don't have the same qualities. In fact, competitive comparison is the main way elder brothers achieve a sense of their own significance. Racism and classism are just different versions of this form of the self-salvation project. This dynamic becomes exceptionally intense when elder brothers pride themselves above all for their right religion. If a group believes God favors them because of their particularly true doctrine, ways of worship, and ethical behavior, their attitude toward those without these things can be hostile. Their self-righteousness hides under the claim that they are only opposing the enemies of God. When you look at the world through those lenses, it becomes easy to justify hate and oppression, all in the name of truth." (Timothy Keller, The Prodigal God (Dutton, 2008) p 53-54).

Both sons fall short of what the Father desires-- Love Him for Him not for what He has to offer. The first son boldly asks the Father for what He wants, and the second son simply obeys and sticks around waiting for what He can get for being good. Neither brother alone meets the qualifications for heir-- loving the Father unconditionally and being loved by the Father in the same way. The Father loves them yes, but only the younger son comes to the acceptance of this unconditional love. The elder brother believes he deserves the love of the Father and is aghast at the lack of the Fathers reward...

Keller points out that here is where the True Elder Brother, Jesus, comes into the quotient. Jesus, being the perfect Elder Brother would have gone chasing after the younger son for the Father and brought him back no matter how he was found. (Isn't this what He is doing even today?) He would not have argued that He was better than the younger brother (and He was).

Jesus as He walked on Earth seemed to attract the sinners and tax-collectors. They practically swarmed Him. Keller points out, "Jesus' teaching consistently attracted the irreligious while offending the Bible-believing, religious people of His day (15)." And if Jesus were in our church as the True Elder Brother instead of a bunch of elder brothers that our churches would be filled with sinners and tax-collectors. Instead we attract the religious type. Keller says, "If the preaching of our ministers and the practice of our parishioners do not have the same effect on people that Jesus had, then we must not be declaring the same message that Jesus did. If our churches aren't appealing to the younger brothers, they must be more full of elder brothers than we'd like to think (15-16)."

This book puts into perspective what Jesus was teaching and who He was teaching it to. He was teaching the prodigality of the grace that the Father has for both/all His sons. He was teaching the Pharisees and teachers of the law that they were not saving themselves. The sinners knew the message He was giving them, this is why they loved to hear Jesus. The Pharisees and teachers I imagine stood mouths agape after hearing the second part of this story.

This book's subtitle says it all, Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith.

Locks of Love

Ollie has been growing her hair for... well since she was born, with the goal of eventually cutting it and sending it to Locks of Love. Yesterday she informed me she was ready, so we made an appointment and went today to have it cut. I can't believe how a haircut made her look so much older.

A functional, type "mess"

I know I am a pack rat. I know that I married a pack rat. I did not realize how bad we were until I started unloading the cabinets in the basement yesterday. I found a box full of cracked lead crystal glasses (yes they were cracked when we stowed them away), a box full of old cow print coffee mugs (mine from high school) and a box full of notes written back and forth between me and my friends in middle school!!!!! The worst part of this is I have now been in 3 homes since I left my parents and so this has followed me for 9 years all over the place (OK not 9 years, more like 20 years). Oh dear! I won't even go into the stuff I found of my husband. We are two of a kind and my dad would be appalled. Well probably not, he did live with me for 20 some years, and I come by this naturally (not by him however). Sorry mama, it is true :) . Hubby and I were joking with my neighbors last night about a lady at his church who would get out the measuring tape to plant a flower bed perfectly (my dad would probably). If only I had half of his organizational skills... I don't even measure to hang pictures on the wall. Even hubby does this. I just grab a hammer and start nailing.

It is funny to see how much of me is in my Turkey and how much of my dad is in my Ollie. She would make him proud. This morning she couldn't wait for me to get out of bed so I could see how clean her room was. She does this every morning. I think God did this on purpose (I know He did). He put at least one type A personality in our family. Oh what a heap we would be if we were all type, whatever is not type A? Type mess? Yeah that's us, type "mess". Very functional, however.

I once had a professor at UT who said that all families were dysfunctional. At the time, I disagreed with him on everything. He was (I assume still is) a self proclaimed socialist. I was old enough to know that as long as I did my work and backed up my arguments I could disagree with him. Anyhow, I did on this topic. I still would and even more strongly so. All families have problems, yes, but that is the nature of a family-- to be there and balance each other out, to sand off the rough edges and wear smooth all splinters. I think God gave us the family for just this purpose. What would my car and bedroom have looked like IF my dad hadn't put it all out in the front yard with the promise to haul it to the dump (or bonfire-- I can't remember exactly) if it weren't cleaned up before... Now as an adult, I have some motivation to keep clean and organized (a family to care for) so I no longer need the motivational speeches of my father. (Well, I could still use them sometimes.) I think it is totally functional that a family teaches each other-- I imagine having us messy kids taught my dad a little about imperfection (who knows). I know that if a tree were not able to bend in the wind it would break. He is certainly like a strong sturdy tree, and we were a gale force wind. He certainly taught us about keeping things neat and clean and cared for-- a lesson many people make lots of money teaching on reality t.v. Due to my dad's lessons, I have had success in many jobs where neatness counts. I have had bosses (Dennis) who liked little tricks of organization I learned from my dad (even though my desk was never quite straight). I can only picture dad's face if he had seen what I threw out yesterday-- those notes. Ugh, I can see the disapproval now, but he would be so proud that I bleached the floors! I think the fact that we cleaned the basement would at least half impress him. Now I know he is thinking... "If you will just keep it clean. It is faster to just put something back when you are done with it that to go through the whole cleaning process again." This makes me smile. Thanks Dad.

Daunting tasks...house cleaning ADD...accountablity

I am ashamed at how I can't focus on a task. It takes me forever to clean my house during the day. For example, I will start picking up the living room-- needless to say there are always toys of some sort, shoes, the Turkey's shed clothing... I'll get my hands full (of course usually the girls are helping) and start delivering the items to proper homes. Next thing I know, I end up in the kitchen doing dishes and a curious pair of rain boots on the counter. This really happened a couple of days ago, although Hubby is the one who asked me why there were rain boots in the sink? The strange pile of things that ends up on the top of my drier during a days cleaning... The drier is in the center of the house so as I am folding laundry in the bedroom and something crosses my mind (like I need to thaw something for supper) and so I head that direction and realize halfway there I have my hands full... so this stuff gets put on top the drier... I of course rarely remember that I was folding clothes and at this point go vacuum. In vacuuming I find more toys to move... the cycle is endless and exhausting. I think I have house cleaning ADD. This could be why I have to clean everyday.

Now Hubby and I have plans this week to do some major cleaning in our basement (Lord, help! really). With this task as daunting as it is I am either motivated by procrastination or fear to super clean every other part of the house first. I even took my fridge apart to clean it. Here is where my prayer comes... I need motivation to get in the basement (I did do the playroom side today) and accountability. If I tell You Lord that I am doing it, how can I not, also there seem to be enough friends reading this to keep me accountable. I think our basement would be ripe for the cleaning ladies on BBC channel (I think that's the channel). I can only imagine them in their pink feathered cleaning gloves... Anyway, as soon as Hubby comes home, we are hitting the basement. Why do I feel like I have just agreed to have a root canal?

Satan squashing...

Yesterday, Hubby and I were talking about God and Satan. I asked him if he had ever thought about what Satan was thinking when he decided that he could be as good as or better than God. He had to have known the incalculable power God had, and to challenge Him and actually think he could win... This is when Hubby reminded me that at this point Satan knows he can't win, but that everyone of God's people he can snag away hurts God immensely. This is the only thing he has to fight with. Hubby said that he imagined that Satan wanted to take as many people down with him as he could. He also wondered if this is where we get the saying, "misery loves company".

In our house we do a lot of Satan squashing. I have taught, and am teaching the girls that Satan tempts us to do things which would hurt God. For instance, when they are tempted to not share, or fight with one another, or talk disrespectfully to someone... we use this as an opportunity to squash Satan. I have taught them that God has given us power over Satan to squash him, so when he seems to be lurking around, we simply (as the Turkey says) say, "Satan, get right there," and then proceed to stomp him. This has to be a funny sight from up above.

Sometimes I forget even this simple act myself. We have been given power over Satan through Jesus. From the time Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, God told them that their offspring (Jesus) would crush Satan's head, and that Satan would bruise Jesus heals. And now we are clothed with Jesus through baptism (as Paul says). Through the Holy Spirit we have authority over Satan. In times when he seems to be really pursuing me (bruising my heals), I use Jesus' own phrase, "get behind me Satan". It often seems that Satan is so strong, that I just can't fight him any longer... but it is not "I" who needs to be in battle against Satan, but Jesus. The Bible describes our armor and I need to remember to put it on everyday.

Lord, I would love to see the unseen realms of this battle as was revealed to Elisha's servant in 2 Kings 6. Help me to arm myself everyday, even if I do not see the battle raging. Give me the courage to stand strong and allow You to defeat the enemy.

I failed miserably

Today, I picked many, many sweet peppers and poblano peppers and I had such great plans for them. I was going to roast them and then can them; I love cooking with roasted sweet peppers. So I spent all afternoon roasting them on the grill till charred and then sweating them till cool in paper bags... http://canningusa.com/IfICanYouCan/PepperBellRed.htm . (Oh, I did NOT obey common sense when it told me not to pick up the paper bag-- all the peppers feel right out the bottom of the now wet paper bags.) Anyway, I then went to remove the skins which were supposed to "be very loose"... Yeah right. I apparently went beyond the roasting process and charred all the way through the meat of most of the peppers. There was no pepper left, just charcoal. I got a small bowl's worth of pepper, which I will can! This was/is so frustrating. I put this under the "more trouble than it's worth" category. Now I know why roasted red peppers are so expensive.

I can't even get my red and yellow peppers to turn color on the bush. So my sweet red and yellow peppers are green. And apparently I can't roast them any better than I can grow them. Hopefully, I can at least pressure can the ones I did not turn to charcoal.

Planning a field trip

We are so excited about our upcoming field trip to James Town settlement and Colonial Williamsburg. Ollie has been learning about colonial life by reading (listening to us read to her) the Felicity books. We will be going to visit these two living history sites soon, after we finish the study. Hubby and I are so excited about this trip. This is the one of the things hubby has looked forward to since our decision to home school. He loves history and is so excited about being able to actually teach the girls by visiting historical places. This will be our first field trip for history this school year. This is one of the benefits of our teaching the girls from home. Their education can be enriched in ways that are virtually impossible in a public school setting. We have so many plans and the school year is starting off so great. Ollie has been doing addition and even figured out little "equations" in her newest math workbook all by herself-- 2+2=__ +4=__. She did it all on her own and got the correct answers. I would think this would be at least questionable to a 4 year old if not down right confusing??? Lord I am so thankful for her desire to learn. Help me to teach her how to learn. This is my goal for both girls-- to teach them how to learn and be life long learners. Bless us in our school year and give Ollie the success she needs to continue to be motivated (me too.) Lord I lift up a special little prayer for motivation for the Turkey. Motivate her as we start letter recognition.

Noteworthy article.

The Case For Early Marriage.

This article is interesting. I found a link to it on a friend's blog http://waitingforsunday.com/.

Chocolate covered grapes.

OK, so I sat down to blog about actual chocolate covered grapes because they are truly remarkable (I am making some right now-- hardening in the fridge), and I thought I would make a joke about how chocolate covered grapes could be a metaphor, haha-- like sour grapes. I really had this sole intention of writing about grapes. (Try them some time-- yumm!) But as I opened my computer, moderated the comments and as I answered some, I began to think about things happening in my life. It seems God has literally just this instant turned my sour grapes (so to speak) into chocolate covered grapes. I am trembling (literally) due to the obvious display God just gave me. I am taken aback Lord, with how awesome You are. If I could only share this with someone... I am speechless at Your work. What else can I say:


Psalm 18:28 You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.

I Love You Lord!

Ollie's tummy

So far we have been on a week of a totally dairy free diet for Ollie. She hasn't complained even once about her stomach hurting. She hates having to turn down formerly loved foods, and she says some of he funniest things. Today she wanted lettuce with ranch dressing with her fluffy fruit and cherries for lunch, when I told her she could not have ranch dressing she said, "But mommy, I would rather my stomach hurt than be squished by a car." Trying to hide my amusement, I tried to figure out what about not having ranch dressing was like being hit by a car. To this moment I am still at a loss for ideas.

I really hope this is the ticket we have been looking for for nearly 5 years. It seems so easy compared with everything else we have been through. It is truly an answer to prayers.

Now if I could just find a dairy free ranch dressing...

Chattering for Jesus!

Hubby came across an article given to us by (oops, correction) my Mamaw tonight called "A Pastors Perspective" and We loved it. I tried to find a link to the Newspaper it was published in, but there is no website for The Ocracoker that I can find. It was spectacular. We both were floored at its significance. Lord thank You for answering me in regards to keeping things going here. I got the message: Philippians 3:14 (I.C.B.) and John 15:16 (NRSV). I found these verses with corresponding articles saying that I bear fruit by spreading the Word of God and His message of hope. I am so grateful at how You speak to me. I pray that all the readers of this blog or those who just happen across it are blessed enough to hear You speak or are interested enough to learn to hear You.

The finish line

Last night in church, David expounded upon his sermon on death. He listed some of his observations on death and then we discussed some questions... some the same as on Sunday. His observation list was...

* Death is the loneliest thing you will ever do. Even though everyone does it someday, no one can ever tell you what to expect.

*Our understanding of death is based on observation not participation.

*Our natural inclination is to deny deaths reality.

*If we couple faith with death, death becomes a great thing.

In our discussions a few statements were made that got me a'thinkin (yes anon, I know that's not a word--poetic license). One of these statements was that we, as Christians, should be excited to die one day. I love this thought! I am excited to die or for the return whichever comes first-- to all those people that claimed Obama was going to be the anti-Christ, I said "bring it on". I can't wait to see my Savior's face. I have and will always teach my girls that death is not something to be afraid of. It is something that will happen and no one knows when, but God. They... well at least Ollie knows that after death comes Heaven if You are friends with Jesus. She understands as much as anyone on earth what Heaven will be like-- no tangles in your hair, no boo boos, no anger, no fear, no pain... She often tells me she is ready for Heaven now or asks me why she can't die now. At first this question was a little intimidating, but my answer made her happy. I just told her God did not have her princess room ready in His mansion and when it is ready, He will bring her home. She has come to thank God for Peanut's death that he is no longer in pain and she thanks God frequently for making him not hurt anymore. I think she has the right understanding of death. Once again it goes to show how we must become like little children.

The second thought that struck me as quite provocative was that death is the finish line. We are all to be running as if in a race towards this finish line. The man who said this added that in this world, Satan can attack us in every way possible, but we keep running and one day when we cross that line, he can no longer do anything to us. Isn't that awesome! Death is our goal (not in a morbid depressing way-- it should not be something someone chooses over life-- only God knows the timing of our death and we should anticipate it without fear or denial).Lord, help me teach my girls to run as hard as they can towards the finish line, never looking back or running from it in fear. Help me to teach them not to fear because what awaits them on the other side is exquisite.

God's imagination

Today on our way to the library, Ollie said, "Mommy, God's imagination is huge isn't it." I said "Yes it is". She then said, "He lets us see it every day, doesn't He?" To this I asked her to explain what she was talking about, for this had come out of the blue and I wasn't sure what she meant. So she said, "The world, Mommy, He let's us see it every day and it is His imagination."

Lord, thank You for revealing Yourself to her. I am so glad You let us see Your imagination every day. Sometimes I take for granted how amazing Your imagination is and how we are created in Your image... to imagine! Sometimes I have a hard time slowing down enough to just imagine.

Ephesians 3: 14-21 The Message
14-19My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
20-21God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

This is such an amazing verse You led me to as I was thinking about our conversation. Thank You again for using my daughter to speak to me.

Tana-- I think that God used you in opening my ears to hear Him through His talking to Ollie. Oh, and this morning, The Turkey was conversating (I like this non-word!!!) with who knows who in her room before I let her come out at "get up time". When I asked her who she was talking to, she said, "Jesus". She said, "I asked Him to come to my house today." So I asked her what He said... She said, "Yes." I have truly been blessed today, and I would have missed it all had you not responded to my blog yesterday.

THULURDLUVSMI

I am posting a note Ollie (4 years old) wrote all by herself in church this past Sunday. I am posting it first as it is written, then I'll translate. She writes the way things sound (phonics).

THULURDLUV
SMIYEVN
IPIHSUFIT
ANDUIOO
TOOFURE
VREVRY
DAEVN
MYTO... (HER NAME HERE)

Now for the translation--
The Lord loves me even (if) I pitch a fit and you too for ever, every day, even me too Ollie.

Haven't I pitched some fits lately, God still loves me! Apparently she and I both needed that message.

This note will forever more stay in my Bible as a reminder that I can pitch a fit to Jesus and He still loves me!

This is the day...

I have often times sung the song-- or joked about singing the song "On a day like this", but today I am singing "This is the day that the Lord has made", even a stormy, rainy day like today. You are God and You know what I need. You have blessed me with so much. Today in school, we were studying Abraham's experience in obedience and faith. I was reading to Ollie about the way God told him to move from Ur to a new land. Abraham did not complain or ask God why or argue with God. (I was using this type of obedience to explain why I teach her how to obey with out complaint. She often asks me when she will be able to hear Your voice and I tell her that when she learns to here mine then she will begin to understand and be ready to hear Yours.) As we read the story, she learned that Abraham was blessed with a son because he obeyed. I was telling her about how God had blessed us when we moved just like Abraham. God told us to leave our home at the CEC, but did not tell us yet where to go. Once we obeyed, He pointed us to our new home and blessed us with Ollie and the Turkey. Ollie got really big bright eyes when I told her this.

I love the significance of Abraham in my life.

A cute thing that she picked up on in the story of Abraham is the fact that You promised to bless all the earth through his family line. I explained to her that a family line is passed down from father to son... I explained to her about names and how my name changed when I married her daddy. I also explained how her uncle T, still had his last name the same as Poppy, and aunt R had a name change too.
She looked at me with sad eyes and told me she wanted to marry Phillip, but she didn't want a Hart in her name. She wanted to stay Ollie ** &&. She said Phillip could take her name if he wanted to. My little femiNazi (JOKE).

Prayers for Mamaw

Today I talked to Mamaw. Lord You know what happened. She fell and broke her foot and sprained her ankle last night. Now at 80 years old, she is alone in the middle of Engelhard with no family near, hopping on one foot with a walker for the next 3 weeks. Then the Dr. will be able to put a cast on it. Lord send her the help she needs and the healing of a miracle. She is in a great deal of pain not only from the injury to her foot and ankle, but to her whole body from the fall. Take her pain away.

Death comes to us all...

There are some questions that David posed us in his sermon on Sunday. I've been thinking a lot about them. Lord, You know just what I need to hear and when. I am so amazed at how You work.

1. Do I give credit or do I take credit?
Lord, I want to give You credit for all You have done for me. All the times You have bailed me/us out. All the times You have miraculously answered my prayers. I give all credit to You for any talent I may possess, without You I am nothing! Lord help me to see You in everything not just in the Big things or obvious displays in my life. Thank You for giving me peace in all circumstances. I am sure of times when I have taken credit for something creative I have done (really not me at all, but You) or even as small as taking credit for my cooking skills or what ever talents I have... I have no right to claim any of these as mine, but Yours and I pray You will lead me to opportunities to use them to glorify You.

2. How important is it that other people like me?
I really needed this question. This is a problem I have struggled with so often. I used to really do everything I could to make everyone like me. In my youngest of years I transformed myself into what others wanted me to be. Now, I have come to see that You are the ONLY One who matters. What You think of me is what is going to be my only focus. I knew this was true, but I needed a reminder. It doesn't matter what others think of me as long as I am following You and putting You in front of me, my family and everything.

3. Has my faith allowed me to speak hope to others?
Oh, Lord I hope so. I can't imagine a better story of faith and hope than the one You gave to me. I have shared my story of faith with as many people as will listen... of how You changed my life and have cast all my sins into the sea... of how You will not remember them... of how You died for my sins-- even mine! If You can do this and have done this for me then there is hope for all sinners. I love to tell the story of how You brought me out of the pit and into Your loving arms.

4. Is there something You have sent me here to do?
I know there is. I am just waiting to be told, other than what I already know (raising my family to know You and have a relationship with the God of the Universe-- to teach them that by having this relationship You will put the awesome power of the Holy Spirit straight from You inside them)., and to show others how You love them even as they are in the pit of their lives-- just like You did me.

5. After Jesus died the soldiers said this had to be the son of God. When I die what will others say of me? Well, I want to live my life so that others will mourn my death, but rejoice because they know I am face to face with God. I need You Jesus to work in my life so that others will be able to do this when I die... that they will say that I lived my life in anticipation of Heaven, not with it wrapped around what is of earth.

Thanks Lord for speaking to me through David.

To the thorn in my side... anonymous

I read my snail mail today and I know who you are. (I do not know who anonymous commenters are-- I was wrong-- anon, I am blocking your rude comments from now on and your critiques of my writing.). I am still very glad you read my blog. (If the person reading my blog is not you but is telling you about what I write... just give her the blogspot. Don't be a relay. Oh yeah and you will be getting a copy of the letter I received...) I am not ashamed of my blog. I am not ashamed of the Gospel. I am not ashamed to pray. My prayers and concerns are published here for my benefit and I hope that if others read it they will be convicted by the Holy Spirit or learn that if they are dealing with similar issues they can rely on God to help them as I do. I will not defend my thoughts for they are lifted to the Lord and He needs no explanation. In writing my blog and dealing with thoughts and issues in my life the Lord helps me work through things that may not get worked through any other way. So I will not respond to snail mail challenges on something I have lifted up to the Lord through my blog.

I pray that if the Holy Spirit is convicting someone/anyone through my blog that their hearts will be softened. I also pray, Lord, that these know I love them (even those I do not know) and do not mean to hurt them when something I write in Truth, or that I have experienced, strikes a nerve.

James 2:13
I write/ quote this prayer which was the prayer in my devotion for the day...
"Dear Father, thank You so much for the mercy You have shown me, mercy too deep for me to fathom. Give me the courage to extend mercy to others, even when I have been wrongly treated. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen."

Soooo cool!

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/2315

http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM6C4Y_Jockeys_Ridge_Nags_Head_North_Carolina

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nags_Head,_North_Carolina

I grew up going here every summer, but did not learn about this castle (or even see it) until our Honeymoon here in 2000. This is fascinating!

Party

These photos are all out of order.

Turkey being cute.

My uncle Neal and his youngest my cousin Ashley. She is headed off to college next month. Wow.

Ashley taking photos of Turkey.

The church.

My brother (sissy's husband) and my "little man"

Uncle Neal playing with the kids... he admits he is a big kid himself.

The cake.

Mamaw (pink) and her friend or cousin???

We celebrated my Mamaw's 80th birthday while we were on vacation. It was in a little place called Englehard, NC --just inland from the Outer Banks where we spent the week --(population... uhh... 15 maybe) at a very old (1890's I think) church. I made her a yummy chocolate truffle cake, and it was funny many of her friends from there had no idea what a truffle was. It was such a blessing that so many people came from all over. We got to see some family that we hadn't seen in a while. Some of her cousins I had never even met before.Thanks Lord for such a blessing as Mamaw turning 80. I hope I live so long as to get to see my great grand kids and party with them when I turn 80.

Why can't boys remember forever too?

In a conversation Ollie had this morning with Hubby, she asked him, "why do girls remember forever and you forget? Why can't you remember forever too." I don't know what prompted this conversation, but I thought it was intriguing that she recognized something that many women have often found to be the case. Not that this is true, but sometimes it seems as if what is important for us girls to remember is not that important for our men to remember. At 4 she is wise beyond her years.

Innocent optimism

The Concert.

Tonight after an after dinner concert by Ollie, we all got ready to say bye to Great Mamaw and Great Uncle Gary. Ollie came excitedly running to me and said, "Mommy, my cup is half full" in the most dramatic way possible. She was talking about her cup of "shells" (actually broken bits of shells and rocks smoothed by the sea) which she has been collecting for 2 days now.

I can't say that our car was half full... Packed to the gills fits better-- really, nothing else would fit not even a description.

The trade in...

We made it safely to the beach. Thank You Lord. We took a new route-- one that Map Quest seemed to really want us to take. We drove many back roads at 45 MPH. It was a beautiful drive. I, as usual, was the one holding and giving directions. I missed a few lines and a couple of times and we had to make several U-turns, and at one point we turned around two times and made a 30-45 minute "detour" in getting back on track. At this point Hubby could have been angry and many husbands would have gotten furious-- I know some who would have been enraged at their co-pilot. In our situation we laughed. I apologized for being such a lousy navigator and Hubby just smiled and said he would trade me in for a Garmen (however you spell it?). We had a good laugh at our plight. When we finally got back on track, we passed a rather serious accident that we either would have been a part of, stuck in traffic because of or at least witnessed. Hubby looked at me when we passed it and said he thought that maybe God had not answered my prayer about my navigating skills to spare us that accident. What a great God I have and man I have.

Lord keep us safe.

We are leaving at 5 am for the Outer Banks of NC. Lord keep us safe on our long, long drive. Keep the girls happy, healthy-- no motion sickness or whatever else could come up... Keep me sane as I manage them while Hubby drives and give me navigational skills to co-pilot the drive. I certainly need You on this one... I get lost everywhere I go. I should know this drive like the back of my hand, but I do not. It seems the roads change every year. I think that 264 or 64 which ever it is is finally finished, yeah! Praise you for no or fewer back roads. Please help me in making Mamaw's 80th birthday cake extra special. I have big plans for it, and I need Your help. Keep us safe all week and bring us back home next week closer to each other and You.

A freak show of heads and hands...

I or I should say Hubby received a letter yesterday from his aunt (the bully) claiming the gift of the DVDs. Lord, this is where I need Your help. When I thought they came from mom, (which she feels the same way, just has always told us to our face) it hurt more than coming from the aunt. This should not be the case, her soul is just as eternal. I keep telling myself how her bullying behavior, racist comments and jokes, total lack of compassion for the poor or anyone... these fruits she exhibits are not from a good tree. It only seems ironic to me that she is worried about my soul. This is wrong of me. I should be just as grieved for her as I was for mom. I see that Your providence is in this whole situation just like every other part of my life. If she had given these DVDs to us in person or claimed responsibility sooner, with the explanation she gave in the letter (she was worried for our soul and that we are responsible for the upbringing of our girls) I would have just ignored them and or watched them and thrown them away. not gotten so upset and spilled my heart out to mom via a letter. (I sent her a letter explaining my testimony and faith in Jesus.) Which I pray will have an impact on her. At this point I have no intentions of sending that letter to the aunt. I do not desire to open up to her... Lord am I wrong? I trust that you will give me guidance on this matter.

This morning I was thinking about the one DVD that talked about the church and what it was supposed to be and how it is the body of Christ. This part I agree with. I also agree with the Truth that God/Jesus desires a unified body (how many bodies exist with a hand dangling alone and a stomach left at home...? Here's the funny part (not really funny--very sad)-- They have cut themselves off from the rest of the body (made themselves so exclusive) that it is like walking down the street and seeing a lone, flopping hand or group of hands lying on the sidewalk trying to tell you about the Lord. Of course who can understand and identify with a hand except for maybe another hand? The man on the DVD said that in unity everyone must think alike. I disagree with him completely here. In the body a hand will never be exactly like a foot, and a heart will never be exactly like a knee... Where these parts are unified is in the main function to keep the body alive... They all fall under the same head and are governed by the same head. If every part of the body thought the exact same way... If we were to choose a part of the body that would be the most important part and all think like that even... The head would be the most important part, and if we all tried to be the head then we would be trying to be Jesus/God who is the head, and the body would be missing. We can not make ourselves into Jesus. We as a body of believers are to show a dying world the love of Jesus with Him as our head. Maybe this is what they are trying to be the head, the judge, the controlling part of the body. Can you imagine a bunch of heads sitting on the sidewalk trying to preach the Gospel? It would be a freak show non-the-less. I think it would certainly scare people away... which I think is the case in point. Anyhow, Lord give me wisdom.

What should have happened did.

I came across this web site today reminiscing my dancing days and it brought back some fond memories-- http://www.texndixie.com/clubdance.htm This was the place I used to go dancing-- until the show finally was taken off the air after 7 years. I first wanted to learn to dance when I saw the show on TV, and so I watched it close enough to learn the steps. Then when I was 16 years old I went to a local dance place and practiced and eventually learned to dance. Then I met my buddy Jenny (the super-mom about whom I have blogged) at my new job and was telling her about what I was learning; she told me she happened to dance on that show so... I joined it too. I became a regular at Club Dance.

(Jenny)
Oh the good old years... when the stage lighting did not make me sweat (now I go from being freezing cold to being in an instant sweat poking my head in the fridge for relief), the hours of dancing and taping late into the night never affected my ability to get up for school the next day or go to work (now if I do not get a full 9 hours of sleep I am... let's just say not at 100%). The energy of youth is wasted on the young. If only I still had this energy. Oh the things I could accomplish in a day. I look back at the schedule I used to keep and I am instantly reminded about how little time I spent doing what mattered (giving glory to God). Instead, I did everything very selfishly. If I had focused my energy on Him... I hate "ifs" though. (Look at how many "I"s are used in "what ifs".) I once heard in a lesson (I think at church camp) that "what should have happened did". Looking at the past can bring up some regrets for most of us, but if we belong to Jesus it is as if our past is cast into the deepest sea. David said so in Psalms-- Psalm 32:1 (The Message) Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start, your slate's wiped clean. Satan will however, try to make us feel guilty over our past. When we sit and regret our past, it is as if we do not trust our Savior or think our past is too big for Him to forgive and we undermine what Jesus says. Paul is the prime example of how completely we are forgiven and the transformation that occurs when we give ourselves to Him. 1 Timothy 1:15-17 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. This is part of His plan-- to take us from the state of not knowing Him to a complete knowledge of the Truth-- to change and have unlimited patience with us. None of us are born with the Truth (only Jesus-- for this is why He came to earth-- to testify to the Truth.) So with this being stated, we will all have "regrets", but these things should be looked back on not in regret but in wonder at how God is so awesome to change us from what we were into what He meant for us to be. So getting back to "what should have happened did", this phrase makes Jesus sacrifice relevant and meaningful. What should have happened did-- we were once ruled by deception and then Jesus came and told us the truth and turned the light on. Darkness will never overcome the light. Think about being in a darkened cave, the smallest amount of light even far away causes everyone to see. As big as the darkness is, that small amount of light is more powerful. If we were born in the state God meant for us to be we would have never need Jesus... so look back on the sinful past with pride in Jesus and what He did to change us. We should not live in shame of what we once were hiding our past sins, but instead claim the change and be so bold as to share our testimony with those not yet changed by the Truth. Who knows... or should I say God knows that our testimony may bring others to Him, turn on that tiny amount of light in a dark cave... (plus if we look back with focus on what He did in our transformation we no longer put the emphasis on I but on Him.)

I bet He couldn't hear us...

Today we had lunch in a very crowded McDonald's play land. The first thing we did, as we always do, is hold hands and pray thanks over our food. After we were done, Ollie said, "Mommy, I bet God didn't hear us these kids are so loud in here."

I love it! It was a great opportunity to teach about how God hears us no matter what, but the best part was that she is so faithful to believe He is listening and trying to hear us! I LOVE THAT!

What joy God's beautiful creation brings

on a day such as this, a day following such a rotten previous day; the Lord gives us evidence of His glory. In our peach tree we have a mama dove. She is not afraid of us and seems so peaceful sitting with her new baby. If you look at the nest, it is very amusing. She is such a big bird and her nest is soooo sparse. It is like she was a first time mom just trying her best to make a place for her baby. After my first picture she tucked her baby under her to protect it. Even this newbie mom naturally wanted what is best for her baby, even if by an outsiders standards her nest is not up to par.

Lord help all of us mom's who are wrongly judged or feel scrutinized (sometimes by each other) to remember that You give us the skills we need and the wisdom we need to raise our children if only we will follow You, just like you give this dove the same skills and love for her baby. Help me to remember, and moms in general, that we are not in a contest to have the brightest, most talented, prettiest, most fashionable... children. We are given them for such a short while to hold and care for. Help us to cherish them and hold them under our wings and teach them to soar like eagles.

Isaiah 40:31but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I must be doing something wrong?

I truly try to live what I believe.

Matthew 7:17-19
"17Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire."

Matthew 12:33"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.

That being said, I have some family members who are worried about my salvation. After the reunion, I found two DVDs about getting back to the Truth. They had been slipped in my car anonymously. Now, I can't figure out what I am doing wrong (other than the obvious-- I sing to the Lord with music). I have asked Hubby what it is I do that produces the "bad fruit". I have done so much self evaluation and am thinking I need some help. He told me it was that they just had on blinders. I still think that in this world we are supposed to be different enough that even non-Christians are to recognize there is something different about us. We have been set apart from the world, and to me something that is set apart and special is noticeable. At a wedding the wedding cake is set apart-- it does not go unnoticed even by people who don't like cake. So I must be slacking in my walk, right Lord? Show me what it is that I need to tweak.

As I right this, I am reminded of the Pharisees questioning Jesus. God, You are answering me as I write this. Jesus could not have walked a more perfect way. What is more than perfect? Jesus was perfect and the law keepers questioned Him and believed He was wrong because He did not keep the law. Now I realize my total lack of perfection, but if Jesus was questioned by those people, maybe Hubby is right.

2 Corinthians 4 Treasures in Jars of Clay
1Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways ; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 3And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

After reading this scripture I remembered my daily devotion via email. I had not read it only looked at the title verse (Today's Truth) which contain the words "jars of clay". I went back and read the whole devotion. This is so amazing in how God operates. I probably would not have gone back and read this on my own, but through this post He is speaking to me. Let me quote from the devotion (Sharon Jaynes) "I realized that day that each person has great value as a possible container of something -- Someone -- very special, Jesus Christ, God's own Son. He stands at the doors of many who, in our eyes may appear as lost luggage, filled with filthy rags." This led me to feel better about my own witness, but more importantly it made me step back and stop thinking badly of those who question me and my salvation. I know what is on the inside of me and am secure in the Lord for my salvation, but only God can see the hearts of the others. It is never my place to judge them-- even in my mind. I need only to see the empty space that could be filled with the Holy Spirit. The part highlighted in that verse above about our gospel being veiled to those who are perishing makes me so sad. It actually has brought tears to my eyes to even think that they could be perishing. I don't think they are for they know the gospel... it is not even my place to think these things, but I can pray for them.

I am interested to watch the DVDs, because I always love to hear someone teach the Word of the Lord. I crave it more than Godiva chocolate. So if only the anonymous gifter would have simply told me about the DVDs and given them to me as a gift, I could thank them for it.

I come back to add this, bleary eyed, for I have watched one of the DVDs, and more than 3 dozen times in an hour long program the teacher said that he loved me and that even though I am living in sin and have fallen away from God's family... anyhow, I am grieved to the point of sorrow that someone so dear to me (the woman who gave life to my precious husband) sees me as a lost person living in sin. I live everyday of my existence striving to be a witness for the love God has for me, living out His will for my life and sacrificing my own plans. I am broken hearted that she can't see this. Lord help me to continue to be Your light in this world even if those I care about most can't see it. Lord I pray that Your light shining from within me will grow to be so bright that even the blindest of the blind will see it and the shadows of the world.

Square peg, round hole: don't make people feel like the square peg

The Cave!
Stalactites.

Stalagmites.

Jacuzzi time!

Swimming in the COLD water.

Over looking the fam.

Hot Tub time.

FUN DIP---pure sugar on a sugar stick... Yummy!

Playing with the "balls game"

"Whacking the green things"

Oops, one more cave shot.
Oh yeah, the Turkey said the funniest thing about the guano (bat poop). She told the guide he needed to get our green broom from the kitchen and sweep it up!

This week we went to the family reunion. I was greeted with advice from an aunt (in-law... this time I mean in-law) that I need to do something about the weight that I've gained. Nice way to greet someone. Her advice also came about Ollie's stomach problems, maybe it was that I just didn't feed her enough, and later, that maybe I fed her too much (this is better than the advice from earlier that it was too much ranch dressing causing the problems-- this had to be a joke). OK, thanks for the input... it is certainly not an angle I've taken (nor have the doctors) in the past 4 1/2 years in solving the problem, but well... maybe... Uhhh, NO. After even more "helpful"/ critical words, I remembered what I had read from Robin McGraw's book. You control the way you react, and you can not react. So, in all instances, I chose not to react other than just a chuckle or a nod of acknowledgement. I have the right to not react and cause a fight. I also have the right to leave early from the reunion... which we did, but for more reasons than just this... a lot to do at the house. I have a really hard time not taking these words to heart. Everything I did was wrong... down to cooking green beans with too much water on too high a temperature. Robin said in her book that a person controls the way they feel not the other person. Only I can make myself feel bad. I am not sure this advice helped substantially, after a while I camped out in the jacuzzi in my room with a good book. I felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.

I have learned something about joy through all of this. If I can find joy, share it with others, and if I can't, don't steal it away from others (or try to). I think this only makes you less joyful, because I don't think you can feel the joy that you steal. Most of us at the reunion came ready to have a great time and other than the time in the cabin with that in-law, we had a great time. We went put putting and to a really cool cavern and swimming in the creek... We had a great time with the cousins and my sisters and brother. Thanks Lord for the extended family and even for the sand paper person in the family. I can learn a bunch about my self as you use this sand paper to polish me. (Sand Paper People is a book by... Sharon James I think...)

Allergist update

Still no answers. Now we have to do an elimination diet (which makes me ill thinking about how this is going to go over) to see if it is actually a food problem. We will start this after our upcoming trip. Doc says that she has been living with this for so long that there is no need to start in the beginning of our vacation. This means plain white rice, grilled chicken tea and water only (seasoned with plain salt or sugar only) for 7 days. (I think in my most creative, inspired moment as a pretty good cook, I couldn't come up with much with these ingredients. I think even an Iron Chef would struggle!) Then you add in one food group at a time for 3 days each, that is if she has stopped complaining after day 7. If there are still complaints then the food issue is off the table. Ha, great pun. Our appointment was very unproductive. I think he ran out of time and forgot about the nutrifil thing. He said he would check it out when I asked and that was the end of it. Hmmm.

Well at least I won't have to think about what's for supper for 7 days strait. My silver lining... I guess.
"What's for breakfast?" "Rice."
"What's for lunch?" "Chicken."
"What's for supper?" "Chicken and rice."
Yeah, oh, fun times lay ahead at this house. Bring on the chicken and rice! Lord help the girls and Hubby to...ummm, well at least let them find it as an adventure... or at least not as a form of torture.

Prayers for today

Lord, this morning we head to the allergist with Ollie to test for food allergies. This seems to be a new direction for the doctor's since the initial blood work came back showing no allergies (only slight signs of a gluten problem.) We keep coming to dead ends and I get really frustrated with the doctors. I keep forgetting that You are the one in control; The One with the healing power... not the doctors. I have too high expectations for men and women who are just doing a job. I get frustrated when I get 15 minutes of their time and have to reschedule to followup on their schedule. There is no hurry or true care taken for finding out what her problem is, just another case. I know this because it has been nearly 5 years. Lord it is in You hands. I've been praying You would either give me ALL the answers or to ONE of the doctor's. Since I haven't had any revelation, I am hoping that Dr. Jones will. I pray now we get through the 2 hour or so test and that Ollie doesn't have any discomfort during the test. I pray the Turkey will cooperate for me during it also.

We are headed to the family reunion this evening and will be in the mountains for 5 days. I pray for our safety and that Your Glory will be transcending to all our fun and chaos during our stay.

I look forward to blogging Your answer by way of what the doctor says. Thank You for hearing me (and reading my blog) and for caring so much about us. Enough even to fix a tummy ache on one of Your youngest and smallest children! This is seemingly insignificant to anyone who does not care about her, and You care the most. So I know You are working on the solution!

Praise God for today.

Today we got some excellent news. My friend's 6 year old will not have to have a skin graft like she was thought to need after a vicious dog attack. God has answered our prayers!

We went on a field trip today. First we went to this quaint, little, local winery for a picnic and looked at how grapes are grown. Then we went to the airport to watch the planes fly in and out. This was all so much fun and it was free other than lunch and parking at the airport. These simple things meant the world to two little girls.

A New Name

On Sunday mornings and at small group on Tuesdays, we have been studying the story of Abram and the covenant God made with him and his seed (Jesus and us via baptism). This morning, David was talking (briefly but it seemed like a good topic to blog) about the name change and he asked us to think about "if God were giving us a new name (phrase describing for what you are known) what would it be?" He started naming off many things for what some would like to be known, such as "She lives in a great house", "Her husband makes a lot of money", and "He is successful". Surely this is not how we as His heirs want to be known.

I know how I want to be known... "A woman loved by God".

Only, this phrase is not one that I could claim as uniquely mine. I am HAPPY to say that I could share that name with everyone who accepted it. Anyone who wants this name can claim it. I am not sure if there is a name that would uniquely describe me, at least not one that I could come up with. I'm sure God is smiling down and thinking of the perfect name for me.

Day1 Yard Sale

The best part about the day was that it did not rain. It was overcast and threatened to dump rain all day. As a matter of fact it poured (very hard rain) all around us-- literally, in every direction. At one point we felt a sprinkle or two; when Ollie felt it she stopped what she was doing and said this, "Dear Jesus, please don't let it rain. In Jesus name, amen." Later, she overheard us talking about the fact that it hadn't rained on us with a man who was shocked it hadn't. She said, "Mommy, it is because I prayed that Jesus would make it not rain, remember."



Lord, thanks for answering a child's prayer.



I heard about this story http://www.johnsoncitypress.com/News/print.php?ID=69951 today. I pray that they will get things together for the sake of everyone involved. I'd like everyone to pray for this family.

My house has thrown up!

I am amidst a mess SO enormous it looks like my house threw up.

(Refer to yesterday's post!)

How do you put a price tag on a memory?

I am going through the girls clothes for a yard sale my neighbor and I are having this weekend. As I am holding up all these tiny little clothes, huge memories of their babydom (I like to make up my own words-- no comments necessary) come creeping back. I look at these clothes and they are actually better reminders of how small my girls once were than photos. I look at photos and barely recognize them. (Those baby years are so frantic and go by sooooo fast.) I have so many clothes and remember who gave me everything and specific times when each girl wore the outfit; I remember how small they once were... TEARS. This is really harder than I thought it would be. My next step is to put a price tag on everything. How do you put price tag on a memory? I know that the people buying are not purchasing my memory, but the outfit to make their own memories, so I can't charge what they are worth (what would that be anyway). I don't want to overprice anything and it not sell. I don't want to sell out short either. I have given up the hope for a miracle number 3, so it all needs to go to make room for my girls new bigger clothes.

Lord, thank you for reminding me that things are not important and that what You give me is so much more important than this "stuff". I'm not really selling my memories, but just stuff that You lent me, and may it, by being sold cheaply at our garage sale, bring someone else a blessing. Help me to cherish every little moment with my girls as they grow up. Help me not to forget and look back at pictures in wonder. Ollie always tells me when I "complain" about how fast she is growing up that I must remember that is how God made her-- to grow up. Oh yeah, He only lent them to me for the sole purpose of training them in His way! Thanks for the task Lord.

Mind over matter and semi-homemade

OK, so here is a experience I wanted to share. Some people may get a kick out of it or even take the idea for their own. The idea originally came from my baby sister, so don't give me credit for it.

I was thinking about what's for supper this morning... nothing new here. As a SAHM, this thought occurs to me at about 10am every morning (well almost, and that's why they invented hot dogs-- for mom's who forgot to decide what to fix for supper). Anyway, tonight is Tuesday night, our small group night which meets at 6:30. So, on Tuesday evenings, we have to hurry-- to say the least. So in thinking of a quick meal, I remembered my sister's Quesadillas. She fixed the most delicious ones using fresh veggies and cheese and a store bought, rotisserie chicken. Ha, that's fast enough and the girls will actually eat it and not snarl.

I am not usually one for the "semi-homemade" type of cooking. You know the kind Sandra Lee does on Food Network (I love that channel). I figure that home cooked meals are part of my job description (self-imposed totally). Well, we went to the store, found a nice, Cajun chicken and he (probably she -- it was small, who knows) has been sitting on my counter cooling for the better part of the morning. I sucked it up and went in to dismantle the little fellow. I started by pulling off the legs first. Oh, it was revolting! REVOLTING! I kept saying to myself "mind over matter". My husband's voice kept ringing right in there too, "you don't have a mind anyway, so it doesn't matter." He loves this joke! OK, mind over matter, I can do this. I found parts of a chicken I'm not sure anyone should find, much less touch or even worse, cook and eat. Mind over matter, mind over matter. Now the chicken is completely de-bodied (anonymous, I know this is not a word), but that is what it is, a bodiless chicken. I still, just thinking about it am getting chills and trying not to gag.

So, I officially claim the right to call this homemade instead of semi-homemade because more care for my family went into debodying that chicken than the Creole eggplant (delicious I might add) I made last night or anything else I have ever cooked. So there Sandra Lee, I did it and I don't feel guilty.

WOW- yesterday I threatened to quit.

God, I thank you today for my blog. This seems really weird since I created it, but it was at your bidding. Your called me to blog that first time as a prayer/personal concern and not a day passed before You answered it. Since then You have answered so many more and given me peace and strength when I've needed it. I pray Lord, that You will continue to use me and my blog to lift others up and me too! Even those people who do not like my blog, I pray that something I say or have said will plant a seed in their hearts. That's all You ask of me, to plant the garden. You are the one who makes the plants grow.

Why I am planning to homeschool.

God has a plan and His plan will prevail!
When I was first starting out in college, I thought home schooling was a joke. I believed that parents who home schooled their children were doing them a disservice. I also thought that if they were going to choose this way of teaching their children they should at least have a teaching license.
Now at this point in my life (at 18+ years old), I had turned from the Lord to hide my face. I thought that in my current condition there was no way He would want anything to do with me. (I could identify with why Adam and Eve hid in the garden.) I was out to make my own plans and follow my own dreams. These dreams consisted of becoming famous (I already had a slight taste of fame and I liked it), rich and having NO children to get in my way.
God had a different plan.
He started working on me, a little at a time. He sent someone (a very controlling boyfriend) to my life to focus me. I know this now, but at the time I just loved this man and wrapped my world around him and what he wanted. So at his bidding, I changed my major and looked to become a teacher. Little did I know this was God’s providence and not my boyfriend. After about 3 years, I figured out that this man was not the man I wanted to marry (nor, as I know now, the man God wanted for me.) I severed the relationship vowing to never do that again (wrap my life around a man). I know now this too was God’s work. He was working on teaching me the importance of not putting anything or anyone in front of Him. I was shattered, broken, in the pit…
God lifted me up.
I left that college, headed home to my parents and went back to work where I had worked through high school. I planned on starting my senior year at UT that next semester. I found the man I had once asked to marry me still worked at that place and would be my manager again. When I saw him, all the reasons why I had proposed, it all came back. We started dating. I changed my major at UT twice over the next couple of years and nearly graduated with a degree in Psychology. The winter/spring before my last semester, I got engaged. I did not reenroll to finish my degree… what would I do with a degree in Psychology. So I got a job substitute teaching (high school) during the day and continued my other job in the evening. I was making quite a bit of money and was pretty happy. I started planning our wedding, and we joined the church I grew up in. I was practically new to the church thing; it had been a really long time since I was a member.
God was moving in my life and moving me.
After we were married, I became the office manager for the church where we were members. This job was so incredible. There was no drama like at all the other places I worked. I got to work in a quiet, still place where God was the focus.
God knew what He was doing.
I worked there for a while and learned what it meant to have a real relationship with The God of the Universe. He was leading us away from where we were living and working together, but we kept ignoring Him and staying put.
God won’t let you ignore Him for long.
We left this place after a Jonah type encounter with God. We picked up everything and moved out of town. The only plan we had was to follow God and He was telling me to go back to the first college and finish my education degree. (I was within a semester or less of three other degrees, for I had continued college on line all this time.) We obeyed. With no job prospects and no place to live, we took care of business and moved. I started my last 2 years of college that fall. During my student teaching I got pregnant.
At this point I would have liked to be a stay-at-home mom, but I really loved teaching and was very good at it (at least that is what I was told.)
I got an interim job teaching 4th grade. At the end of the year, I went, 6 months pregnant, on many job interviews. Just getting one interview in this town was something major. They took one look at my condition, and I could read it in their eyes, “She is going to be leaving after a couple of months for a maternity leave.” I did not get a job.
By this time, I had seriously thought about home schooling. The teacher I was working with really encouraged me in this. AND NOW I did have the degree.
My husband and I had talked about it many times over the course of our marriage (where we were working/living before we moved, home schooling would have been the only way we could have children and he be a part of their lives, IF we decided to have children that is.) So I knew he would not be shocked at my decision and he would be totally in support of it.
See God’s providence?
Now, I was getting closer and closer to my God. I could hear Him talking to me: that still small voice, through the Bible, and through friends at church. He had led me to this place in my life for a purpose. The purpose was to raise my children to know Him and to glorify Him through their upbringing. I have so many reasons to home school, but now the one, the ONLY one that matters…
It is God’s plan.

Ollie's concern

Today on the way home from church, Ollie asked me (she has asked it many times before as well) why people in China aren't free. This thought really concerns her. In light of today's sermon I told her as simply as I could that Jesus makes us free, and the people in control over the Chinese government did not belong to Jesus. She asked me if she could tell them about Jesus (I've explained to her in the past about the missionaries over their and how they put their lives in danger). I told her if God sent her there she could. She then asked me if she would have to be careful when she was telling people in China about Jesus. My first response was "yes". When she asked me if people would try to hurt her if she wasn't careful, I told her that God would protect her if it was His will she be over there. At that, she was happy. There was no need for me to explain Matthew 10:28 or Luke 12:4 to her. I will explain further when further questions arise. I am a firm believer in if they are old enough to ask, they are old enough for an honest answer (the simplest answer needed to answer the question to their satisfaction that is).

My baby, at 4 1/2 years old is a child after God's own heart. I love to listen to the innocence of her admiration for Jesus and her total faith in Him. (A few days ago she told me she was going to ask God to send Peanut back to us and asked me if it would be OK if he came back.) I love to listen to her sing Him praises. She tells me she can't wait to hear God talk to her like He talks to me. She says, "I can't hear Him yet mommy, but will I when I'm a grown up?"

Lord, I ask of You, when she is a grown up, please don't send her to China. I will support her if You do and trust You. I hope this concern of hers for China is not a preparation for me in letting her go there. I am still praying You do not send my friend Kristen and her family over there (S. Korea-- close enough). BUT Lord, I know You have a plan for us all, to use our talents in spreading Your Word, and boy this little girl has some talents. If this is a preparation for me in letting Ollie go into the mission field keep preparing me! You know I wanted to go to Haiti instead of where we are now, but it was not Your plan.

Elvis, not a king, but a drama queen

This morning we took Elvis, our 6 pound, long haired chihuahua, to the rabies clinic in town. There were many, many other dogs and cats there, as you would expect. Elvis was terrified; I had to hold him. The other dogs and cats in front of us were very well behaved. As they got their shots they didn't even flinch, and their tails never stopped wagging. The cats never once acted scared. (Growing up with cats and taking them to the vet was like a fight with a wild cougar or something, so I was quite impressed.) Obviously, it didn't really hurt them too bad to get the shot. When it came time for Elvis to get his shot, he started yelping (it sounded like he was hollering "mama, mama, mama") so loud and squirming all around. We could hardly get him still enough for the vet to give him the shot. You would have thought there was an amputation in progress, and the needle was still 6 inches away from him. Everyone was staring and laughing. I was embarrassed. Now, it is funny looking back, but at the time, I thought, all these other dogs were so good, and I can't even contain this 6 pound squirt of a dog enough for the vet to give it a shot. Finally, I held him very tight and she was able to give him the shots. I don't think he even felt the stick. I bet they could hear him a mile away.



Well, he sure fits into to this family perfectly.

Ollie's prayer this evening... too cute.

Background info:

This evening the girls and I were outside. Ollie was playing with Turkey's hula hoop and Turkey went and got Ollie's to play with. When Ollie noticed, she went mad. She tried to yank it out of her sisters hand, so I jumped in. I sent her into the house to think about what she had done. Later, I sent Turkey in to tell her she could come out. Turkey went in playing with a scarf. Ollie saw it when Turkey went to her room to tell her the news, and once again Ollie went mad. She picked a fight over the scarf. I told her to stay in her room until Turkey got out of the tub and then it was in and out to bed for her with no play time in the tub. Here's where the prayer comes.

I had Turkey in the tub, and I stepped out to hear what Ollie was saying in her room. I stood outside the door and heard this ending to the prayer. "... Jesus, I'm sorry. Please help me to be better tomorrow. I'm sorry I fought with my sister. Please help me be better tomorrow." I was floored. She really was thinking about what she had done and to beat it all was praying about it. I walked into her room and told her that she could go get in the tub with the Turkey. I followed slightly behind her. When she got to the tub. She stood there (I was at the door) and said, "[Turkey] I'm sorry I got mad at you about the hula hoop and the scarf, will you forgive me?" All of this unprompted.

They bathed together from this point on with no arguing. This is a big deal. They argue a lot being so close in age. Today they did a lot of squashing Satan like a bug when they were tempted to fight. It just all went to pot this evening outside. Then went uphill fast after her little prayer! I'll be interested to see how she does tomorrow after her request.

Lord, her request I know was sincere. I can't wait to see how You answer her.

Prayer for the day

Lord, right now, first thing this morning, I am giving you this day. We will be home all day with nothing special going on and I would like to glorify you through our daily grind. Be the focus of my every breath and action. Don't let Satan weasel his way in and cause us turmoil; he has a tendency to do that here at our house. I've tried to teach the girls that You have given us power over Satan and that if need be we can "squash him like a bug." The girls love this thought. We do a lot of squashing especially when we are tempted to fight and yell. Help me Lord to remember this instead of just giving into the temptation and yelling; we CAN shoo him away. I have forgotten this in the past few days. We have had a few rotten ones, because I have forgotten the power You have given me. The power of the Holy Spirit. My human momness has taken charge instead and tends to if I don't come to You face to the floor in total submission to Your will. It's been a while since I have done this and this morning I come to You in this way. Hear my prayer and bless our day.

Newest information on Ollies tummy

We went for a follow up appointment with the GI Dr. to get the official results of the scopes, ultrasound and biopsies. Everything was normal as we expected, but for the biopsy. The RAS level, or something like that, came back high. This means she has indicators of food allergies. The initial blood allergy test had come back normal, but they say now these are only preliminary type tests. The blood work that is. The skin tests need to be done to get more accurate information. They also told us that we need her to see an immunologist to check out why her nutrifil level is repeatedly high. This means she is fighting a virus and usually is not alarming (still not to be alarmed they say) but it has come back high several times spanning a year or so. We go see the specialist in both areas on the 22nd. Lord my prayer is that we get some answers. We have been dealing with this since she was a baby. IT started out that the Dr.s just promised us all the fussing and spit up was normal -- colic is what they called it. It never got better. She doesn't spit up any more seeing as she is nearly 5 years old. I can't believe it has been nearly 5 years and there are still no answers. Lord you have ALL the answers just pass this one on to us or the Allergist/Immunologist.

Ode to my brother

I have three brothers and four sisters. Now, not all of them were born in this relation, I just hate using the "in-law" phrase-- it makes them seem less important. In 1999, my brother married and I acquired a second sister. When I got married in 2000, I gained two more sisters, one of which is married so another brother as well. Then my sister married in 2005 and I got my last brother. This is the brother I am giving thanks for today.

I finally have gotten to spend some time with him to get to know him better. He is for one, such a great dad to my precious nephew and niece. I couldn't have hand picked a better one for them. He takes very dear care of my little sister too. He also takes care of everyone of the citizens of the USA. Here, following the 4th of July, I wanted to thank God for him and express my gratitude not only to God for him, but to him also. You see he is a captain in the US Army. He has been deployed twice and is now stateside. He has seen men risk and give their lives to protect our freedom. I mean witnessed it, not just seen the effects. Lord you have given him a special gift -- a desire to protect. I'm thankful that he is watching over my baby sister. I want to lift him up in prayer and would like everyone to do so as well.

Along with him I want to lift all of our armed forces up. While we were on base last week, there was a huge group of soldiers preparing for some sort of ceremony. They all had their firearms and were waiting patiently. As I watched, I noticed how very young they were. They are boys in a mans role. Now I don't mean to belittle them, they have stepped up to take this role out of courage and passion. I just can picture their mothers scared to death for their young sons as they are called to duty. I am so grateful for their sacrifice as should all of Americans. Lord I offer a prayer just for these young men and women who have given up their freedom to protect ours.

Today's cocktail

I'll serve it up cold and to the point. One shot of monotony or ennui, with a splash of bedlam and a twist of anarchy fill the rest of the way with whine (for the bubbly effect add complain instead of whine). Mix it together and pour it all over my nerves.

This is my day thus far. (Kristen it isn't really any better today.) Is there a full moon tonight? -- I just checked on-line for the phase of the moon and it is 100% full tonight! That explains it.

When I was teaching 4th graders, you could always tell by the sudden change in the children's behavior if there was a full moon or not.

To beat the sameness of the day, I mowed the grass (I love this job because I can't hear the fighting or the complaining or the whining over the mower!!!!) I also love to get the mail! I think that most stay-at-moms would agree that receiving snail mail is a great thing! Most other working moms and dads take this simple thing for granted.

The girls are napping now and I am going to read more of my Karen Kingsbury book (This Side of Heaven) to calm my frayed nerves. Lord see me through this phase of the moon with out losing my mind.

Not a good day.

Lord, You saw what our day was like. The girls fought over everything today. "She's making faces at me," and "I want what she has," and "I want to read that book"... I had a doozy of a head ache before lunch time came. To beat it all black and blue, this happened all while I was trying to grocery shop and restock our bare pantry and fridge. We did have a nice lunch with Hubby and then returned to the house to unload. The girls did get into helping me carry in the groceries (as they fought over which bags they were going to carry); it was nice to have a little help. I fed the girls early and Hubby put them to bed early so I could fix our supper. The Turkey was well past hysterics from mere exhaustion (she did not sleep at nap time). If the neighbors were out they would have thought she had had a limb cut off or something as serious. As I cooked supper, I found myself singing (in my head) the On a Day Like This song. I'm sure I've blogged the usefulness of this song before! It really helps.

Watch over my little tykes tonight and wake them on the right side of the bed tomorrow, PLEASE! Teach me how to deal with days like this without going MAD or getting MAD or getting MAD as I'm going MAD. I am asking for a quick lesson, not one of those long learned lessons. I'm being very specific. I want to wake up KNOWING!

Eating wake

So we had such a great 4th! We spent the whole afternoon on my brothers boat. Good music and fun times. I even road (yes the black kind with stripes down the middle) the big "tube" (not tube shaped at all) as my brother pulled me down the river. First Ollie road with me then The Turkey. Ollie wasn't impressed; however, The Turkey's first words as we started were "go faster". I could hardly keep my arm on her. She ended up riding beside me holding on by herself. Then I made the mistake to ride with my sister (Bro's wife). I knew he would try to sling us off. I just wasn't expecting to wake up in so much pain this morning. We hung on as long as we could doing donuts, and whips all around the lake. I'm sure we sounded and looked... well, I would have loved to be a fly in that lake! Until the point where he finally flipped us off. That fly would have gotten a show! He flung my out of my swimsuit bottoms. I'm glad I was out in the middle of a murky lake with no one around!!!!!!! Thank you Lord for a great day. Thank you for the freedom we have to enjoy ourselves and publicly worship you at the top of our lungs out on the lake!

I don't feel young today, but I did while I was eating wake!

Flying is THE way to Travel.

OK, so what about that for answer to prayer! I had a GrrrREAT (like Tony the Tiger) flight. It was a blast on take off. Even at times when it felt like God had us attached to a string and was bopping us along, I wasn't concerned. It was amusing instead. I kept picturing Him with this little plastic airplane tied to a string swinging us around and bopping us along. I loved the view! I kept thinking about how God must look down on us and enjoy watching us. I could see the cars (they looked like little no-seeums) and the houses and was wonder what each person might be doing or where they might be going... I kept thinking to myself that down here on the ground my life revolves around me mostly. Up there it was as though all those people were in one big picture (not just me!) I couldn't help but think about God's view and what He sees. He doesn't just look down with wonder at the cars and houses; no He knows what is in every, single one of those people's minds and hearts. He knows all fears, concerns, elations, secrets... everything. He sees the big picture; NO He painted the big picture! I felt closer to Him up there even if it was only 15,000 or so feet closer.

My flight wasn't the only good part about my trip. It was the tiniest part! I got to spend some time with my "Kitten" (new niece) and my "Little Man" (my 2 1/2 yr old nephew.) I loved every second and hated to leave. I also got to spend some time getting reacquainted with my sister. I say this because we have been so far away it seems like... well it just was good to spend time with her. We are close in age, but have until a month ago, been in different places in life. Now we both have two children and are in the "same boat" so to speak. I mean we have much more than genes in common now. Don't get me wrong, we had stuff in common, but I think we have never been this much alike before. It was so awesome having a sister to share with and be "girls" together this week. I can't wait till our beach trip in a month! It is just ssooooo great to have a sister. Thank You Lord for that blessing what 28 years ago?

Well, I am jet lagged...joking no big time difference, but I am ready to go finish book number 4 for this week. I read 3 1/2 books this week. I read a book based on the book of Hosea in the Bible called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers (spectacular book recommended by my dear friend Kristen), Robin McGraw's autobiography (good book about making life choices and not accepting what you fall in to- I just wish she had focused more on following the plan God has for you and not just about making your own plan), and Being There (recommended by my Brother -my sisters husband- I hate the whole in-law word-- I rather would think of him as my brother, not just someone the law says is my brother now! It was a parody, highly comical about a completely unsocialized man, who in a matter of 4 days... well just read it. I can't remember the author at the moment but ask me in a comment if you are interested and I'll find out.)

Baby Love

I am at my sister's getting some good baby love. My nephew and I have played trains and my niece is such a kitten. I'll post more blog when I get home.

Oh yeah, thanks Lord, I enjoyed my flight. I only got nauseous as the motion sickness meds wore off! I'll take a second dose next time. Thanks for the thrill!

I need to pray a deep and sincere prayer for my friend's little girl who was attacked by a dog. Lord you know what she needs and I pray that she heals quickly and completely and so does her family.

My upcoming flying conundrum.

Tomorrow I fly to my sisters. I get to see my darling nephew and my newest niece who is about 3 weeks old. I get some good baby love, which might cure my desire for a third... that's for another blog. At 32 years old, this will only be my second flight and my first flight alone.

Well, my first flight was to Canada. I was fine with the thought of flying (even though I was thinking it seems unnatural for something that big to be in the sky miles and miles... ugh stop me now!) I buckled up as they told us to, and as we took off the speed took my breath; I couldn't catch it; I nearly hyperventilated. I was so freaked out that when we landed my seat belt slack would not unwind itself. I had gripped it so hard into a wad for the 2 hours or so we were in the air. My husband (boyfriend at the time) was with me. He had flown numerous times all over the world and never was a nervous flier. Now he is scared to death. I tend to have that effect on people and animals. I'll have to blog about some of my past fears which have seriously rubbed off on or mentally damaged others (people and animals). Back to the present... I have expressed my concern to my friend who happens to also be my Dr. or vise versa and he gave me a script for Xanax. Now since my last flight and all of my past fears I have become closer to the Lord and have given my anxiety over to Him. I was reluctant to fill the prescription, but decided to just to put in my purse in case. BTW It is a very low dose. Now, I am not afraid at all to fly; I do not fear dieing, I do not fear falling from miles above the earth; it doesn't bother me to even say these things; I know where I'll wake up if I die and it will be so awesome! I for one can't wait to see Jesus face to face.

I wonder though if the speed thing will still affect me like last time. I'm not afraid, it is just that I can't seem to breath going that fast. Do I take the Xanax just in case or do I wait to see how I react. At this point I will be alone and the meds will take a while to start working. Hmmm. Lord help me make the right decision, silly as it may be. I don't want to take unnecessary meds. Everyone reading my blog, pray that I enjoy the speed like maybe God has turned me in to a "speed junky" or something cool like that. OK, so that didn't sound right. You know what I mean... one of those people who like roller coasters, driving fast cars (I wouldn't know I drive a minivan), watching a good race...

Amendment to the Turkey Tale

I forgot one of the best things today-- just promise you won't picture it in your mind! I was using the bathroom when in walked the Turkey. She said, "mommy, do you need Elmo seat (the little seat that fits on top of the regular seat so little bottoms don't fall in). I told her no. She then pushed the stool over and made me prop my feet up on the stool while I sat there. I was practically eating my knees! Anyhow, it was a funny thing!

Here's why she's a Turkey

This morning, The Turkey woke up and came out of her room just happy as a clam. (Dumb cliche--are clams happy?) Anyway, she came and gave me a big hug and after she let go, my leg was damp. I asked her why I was wet from touching her. She said she had washed her hands. Hmmm, no she didn't, so I probed a little farther. She said, "yeah mommy, I washed my hair too." OK, so now I see her hair looks quite greasy. She smiled and said she "creamed her hair". So, I went to her room expecting the worse case scenario-- baby oil. Instead I found a busted "boo boo bag", AKA my cold pack. I had let her use it the day before for a sting. She had somehow busted it. This is what she was doing all night--not sleeping; I went in multiple times until midnight finding books scattered and shelves torn down --yes. Apparently it was more than just that though. I searched the pack over to make sure it was not toxic--shwew, glad to say it was non toxic. So I cleaned up the mess.

Next we were making breakfast while Ollie was dressing the beds. The Turkey asked if she could crack an egg. Well what would it hurt. I told her just hit it easy on the counter. Crack, crack, crack --all is good so... smash right in her hand. Egg went everywhere. She got a drip or two in the bowl, and curiously stated, "it's just a little bit, mommy." Not realizing the majority of the egg had slid off the counter into the floor making a slimy, yellow trail down the cabinet door.

Next, she poured the eggs into the pan. These were the girls eggs. I had scrambled mine separately so that I could saute some veggies into them first. I turned my back for a moment and then looked back and The Turkey smiled broadly and said, "I put those eggs in too, mommy." Gone were my plans for a veggie omelet. I just thanked her.

Later, as I was getting dressed, she noticed my "tattoo". (It is in quotes because it was once a very small tattoo, but now after 15 years of fading and about 40 pounds and two babies worth of stretching, it isn't much more than a small splotch. Which if it were up to me it could just as well disappear; it's not my proudest moment!) Anyhow she pointed and said, "mommy you got paint on you. You need to be more careful." I just laughed. (This was a better reaction than the concerned look I got from my OB when he asked what that spot was. See it really is no longer a tattoo.)

The rest of the day, so far, has had multiple, similar encounters, as does every day. She really fits the nickname.

Consumer Reports says to "keep up with the Joneses."

I accidentally deleted this post yesterday, so I will try it again. I am going in a slight different direction today with this. In an ad for Consumer Reports that I got in the mail (trying to get me to buy it) there were all these different DO's and DON'Ts. I want to focus my Blog not on the couple of DO's I intend to follow (like the new camera I want or the printer to go with it...) but on one particular DO that was telling consumers that in order to make their house "pay off" that the home owner must "keep up with the Joneses", but not outdo them. From an economical standpoint it is logical; however, do we really need to keep up with the Joneses in order for our homes to be worthy? It says to add on square footage to increase the value of your home, but not to add to much. It will not pay off in the end. OK, so I get that if your home was only a house that you are flipping as a job this makes sense. What IF the home owner is actually living in a home and not a house. Many people I know are on the "live in it for 2 years and sell it to get a bigger one" plan. I am not so sure this would bring on a peaceful feeling-- for me at least. I am on the "grow old together here" plan. My parents were too. Now they did add on and remodel when it was needed, but they are still living in the house I grew up in. It means something to me and I know it does my sister. My husband's mom still lives in the home that he grew up in, his dad added on... just like my dad. His dad died when he was 18 years old. Now the house holds many memories of his dad and times they had together. What if his parents moved house to house? (OK so they would still have memories, I'm not stupid, but would it be the same?) I am not knocking someone's decision or even need to move frequently. My dear sister is a military wife as is a good friend of mine, and they have to move every couple of years. I think the line I draw (this IS my Blog so I can say what I think) is when you are "keeping up with the Joneses" just to have something or more or "treasures on earth" then I think that goes against what God would have you do. My treasures are laid up in heaven and are in my heart. For instance, I would rather raise my girls, as God calls Christian mom's to do, in a God fearing home, with a Christ centered education, with me or my husband as their care givers, and family time be all the time and not one night of the week than to have a regular, full time, second income. Now many think that this would be nice too, but they could not survive on only one income. I'm telling you that it is possible. You just have to let go of the "want bigger" or "want more" or "have to have" philosophy. You can't keep up with the Joneses. You have to be happy with what you have even if your home is smaller than the others in the neighborhood. So I'm sorry Consumer Reports, I DON'T buy it.

Father's Day Fun

We took Hubby to the local water park Sunday for Father's Day. We had so much fun. Thank You, Lord, for such as man as You have given me as a husband and father to our children.

And thank you that even though it was VERY cloudy, that it did not ever thunder to where they would have to close the pool!

Drop Dead Fred (don't read unless you're soooo bored.)

I happened to be bored as we (the girls and I) watched Snow White for the bazillionth time, so I just perused the Internet. I came across a few stories about a possible remake to the movie Drop Dead Fred. This is my favoritististist movie ever. How could they think it would be a good idea to remake this movie. There are many reasons not to, like most of the world hated the movie from the get go, those of us who liked it surely don't want to see it ruined in a cheesy remake. The articles said it would be in a Betelgeuse style. What does that mean anyhow. What style was Betelgeuse other than just plain viewing pleasure anyway. Do they mean dark? Oh well, I am probably the only person in the world who cares any how. Not that this amounts to a hill of posh.

If you haven't seen the movie, I would suggest it. Hubby watched it with me once, and he was unimpressed. You have to love the silly thought of a woman who has a friend, mischievous friend, that only she can see. It is so hilarious... I laugh every time I watch it until I cry. I am sad to say Netflix doesn't have it though.

"I can't get my button."

I wonder if I am the only one who has really never (not really never, but for 99% of her life) been able to put their baby/toddler in onsies -- you know those cute little one piece shirt deals that snap in the crotch. The Turkey was attached to two things from the time she could get attached. 1. Her passy, which we took away at 18 months old. 2. Her belly button. Now, how can I take that away? She has to have access to her "button" or else it is the end of civilization as we know it. I thought the other day, I could put her in these cute pink summer overalls my mother bought for her last summer, but the minute she stood up she reached for it and started fretting. "I can't get my button", she said. So we found her something else to wear.



I like to pick on her and ask her if I can get it. In her cute little deep voice she says, "no, there's not room." so of course I grab her up and start tickling her and kissing her belly button.



She says some of the funniest things. Ollie and I were talking today about my impending flight to my sisters house across the country and when I told her that she, The Turkey and Nanny would come to the airport to pick me up, The Turkey said, very seriously, "she [Ollie] can't pick you up." So I asked her why. She said, "you're too big, she can't pick you up."

Avoiding sadness

Sadness looms in our house this morning. I have found Elvis looking around the house like he was lost or lost something, Ollie is fighting tears at every pause in action, The Turkey is fairly unaware, and I went outside with Elvis and as we came in I stepped on the welcome mat that said "security by Peanut" with his little face on it, and about lost it. I am trying to help Ollie to learn how to grieve. I think the biggest thing is she doesn't know what she is supposed to do or how to react to the change.

I don't know how to feel about having him put to sleep. The vet said it was the kindest thing I could have done for him. He had been really struggling to breathe for about 20 minutes before my neighbor took us to the vet. By the time we got there he was bluish. She put him on oxygen and he was much more comfortable, but his heart was so bad, he may have not even made it through the night in the care of the emergency vet, with high doses of heart meds and sleeping in an oxygen bed. I for one couldn't afford that to buy him maybe a few days. He would have been all alone too. He would have hated it. So I held his little head while the Dr. gave him and overdose of anesthetic and just let him go to sleep until his heart stopped. It took about a minute. It was horrible to think I caused his death.

We got Peanut while we were only dating. My friend gave him to me at 3 weeks old and my dad wouldn't let me keep him, so Hubby let me keep him at his house. He had to be fed puppy mush, because he was so little (only 6 or 8 ounces). His mama couldn't nurse him because she had gotten really sick. So I was his mama. We had him for 11 years. He was the best little chihuahua.